Unsent messages to JACE

I love the way you hurt me and the way you lie to me. I hate the way I care so much about you still and you never cared.

i fell for you so hard. it’s been months later, and i’m still falling for you. ik you don’t feel the same and it hurts so bad.

why does my heart still ache for you. why do i still want to be with you. why do i still get so nervous around you. why does my heart beat fast around you. why do i get red around you. why do i justwantyoutoholdme,, tell me everythings gonna be okay.
its been fucking three years. please.

i didnt know you that well at first but then i got to know you, i got to love you and then everything ended. eventually i stopped having feelings but when you messaged me earlier this year, my heart skipped a beat, i was like "not again, please" but feelings came back. it was mutual. and they kinda went away later but came back more recently. i still have feelings for you. its been three fucking years. i wish i didnt but i do. i wish we could start talking again. i miss it. and i miss you. seeing you at school makes me get all nervous, my heart starts racing and even sometimes i've gotten really red. it sucks but i dont hate it, or you. thats what sucks. iloveyou :/

a year and 3 months ago, I saw you for the first time. it started as a silly crush and I hardly knew you. slowly, I started knowing you. you flirted with me constantly and we had so many moments together that made me fall. you asked me to hang out this summer but I couldn’t go. were you actually thinking about me? you asked me to homecoming but ghosted me for two weeks after we went together. driving with you on the highway with the windows down was the best moment of my entire life. I wanted to tell you how I felt after that night, but you ignored me. why? you finally apologized to me. why? i love you.

you broke me more then you will ever know. i lie to myself everyday and say i’m over you and i never will me. I will always love you even though you have moved on. Going through my phone seen all the messages and plans you made for our future broke me. Every time i see you i feel my heart break. I look at photos are start crying. how could you lie to me and not tell me about her the whole year we were together. I love you but i hate you with everything in me

I loved you so much. You were everything to me. Nobody will ever, ever replace you. I wish you felt the same way, but deep down I know you never will.

why did u leave me after all of those memories. i thought u loved me. i will always love u. but im over u now..

Everything about you just screams balding 25 yr old working the night shift at a gas station... you were right when you said you thought your life wasn't going anywhere.

I willingly wasted a lot of time and emotion on you... even though I was seriously grossed out by your white boy dreads ?

You light up my world. I was in so much darkness before you...but you saved my life and you probably have no idea you even did. I love you so much. You are my soulmate. My support. My best friend.

It’s been so long. You haunt me in my daydreams, and in every waking moment too. Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. Life is unbearable without you, but you know that. I wish I could’ve told you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell. I wish i could’ve convinced you to stay alive. I will forever be in love with you the way I am now. But you know that, too. I hope you’re happier now, you deserve nothing less. The world was cruel to you and I didn’t learn fast enough. I’m sorry. I love you.

It’s all too much for me... why couldn’t you have stayed a little longer??? I miss having something to live for.