Unsent messages to HAYLEY

I miss you, and your little freckle.

You will always be my best friend no matter what

I will always love you, I know you’ll never see this, but if you do know I love you, always.

i'm sorry that i shut you out when all you wanted to do was be there for me

thanks for being my rock i love you forever

i think im in love with you and i dont know what to do about it

i had a dream that you missed me, is that true?

I didn’t mean to scare you off. I feel you in my heart all the time, Please know that.

i can’t stop thinking about you.

i never meant to make you cry. i still hope we can still be friends

I wish you understood that I'm not the same person. I wish you'd talk to me again

I wish you never came back into my life. Why couldn't you just leave me alone and let me forget you

When you ate me out it was the best time of my life

I know I messed up I was so immature at the time. Please give me a chance to get to know you again

It’s always gonna be him, isn’t it

I’m sorry, I wish we would talk like we used to.

our friendship never meant to end like this, i just wish you knew how much i loved you

i miss you. i'm sorry i wasn't better. you deserved so, so much more. thankyou for teaching me love

Im sorry about everything. But my life is more than just you, i have other friends too

Thank you for being the kindest person

A lot would of needed to change about us if it was ever gonna work.. and that’s the hardest part

I always think about how I shouldve just told you that time while your mom was picking you up sorry

I wish I didn’t treat you how I did. I just wish there was a sign to tell me to try again.

I genuinely hope you’re living a happy life

What did I ever do to you? I was always kind and welcoming and yet you still hated me

why did u treat me that way. Why did u replace me and ignore me when I needed you the most.

you were the first girl i liked, i still wonder if you felt it too. hope you're okay

I can’t listen to Hozier anymore

im really sorry, i wish i was brave enough to tell you again

Though we may have drifted apart, you still mean a lot to me. You're my best friend.

i’m so in love with you and i’m so mad about it

i’ve really missed you

I think…I’m ready to forgive you

I never blocked your number I’ll still be there for whatever

I still think of you at least once or twice a day

I doubt you’ll see this, because you haven’t mentioned the other ones I’ve sent. But I hope you get over him. I hope you realise one day that you’ll be okay without him, because you will be okay. I know you miss him, you told me that yourself but all the time you’re thinking about him, somebody is thinking about you. I don’t want you to miss a chance to be with someone else. He doesn’t deserve you Hayley, he really doesn’t. You’ll understand that one day.
You deserve to be happy, but trust me, you won’t be all the time you’re reaching out for him. Even if you think you aren’t, i know that a little part of you is always hoping he’ll text you and everything will be good again. But that’s not gonna happen, it can’t be good again with him.
You may think that I don’t know you but i do. I spent weeks trying to figure you out and I think I finally have figured you out.
You’re scared, you’re terrified of love. I don’t know if it’s because you’re afraid you’ll get hurt again, or that you’ll hurt someone else. Because you hurt me, you know that right? I know I hurt you but I wouldn’t hurt you again, I promise.
It sucks that I can’t tell you this, I can’t bring myself to text you. I know I still care, I’ll always care. But I don’t think you can say the same. It sounds awful, but a big part of me hopes you miss me, hopes that you regret what happened. I know I do.
I think I’m still holding on to the idea that maybe something could happen between us, I think I’d like that actually. But I know you wouldn’t.
I meant what I said, you can always talk to me. Always. I hope you do.

I just can’t with you anymore. It’s to point you lie to me and tell me my mom “blocked you not me” how does a mother block one certain person right out of hand like wtf. I loved you. but yet you couldn’t get your shit together. You made me the promise you would always try your best to keep guess that was another lie.

I wrote so many messages here tonight. Im so sorry I just don't know how to say it to you, I hope one if these messages is right, cos I know I hurt you beyond words. I knew it that night too but I was too bitter to say it. I'm so sorry, Hayley.

I'm sorry I made you the bad guy of my story. I know I made you feel like a bad person, I just hoped you'd change but that was wrong of me... I wish I'd loved you rather than hated you.
I went to Adelaide to attone for my sin

I know how hard it was for you, and how it would be selfish of me to wish you stayed, but I love you. I miss you more and more everyday and I just want to see you one more time. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on, maybe we’ll be reunited one day.

I’m so happy with her, but you keep your claws in me. I can’t be the one to cut things off- you’ve caused too much trauma for me to be the one to do it. Just let me go. Please.

hey, I know we drifted apart but I miss your friendship. now you’re all mature and you’ve changed so much. don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you. you just seem different. I wish you the best in life and I hope you get everything you’ve ever wanted. I know your life hasn’t been easy, and maybe it was my fault why we lost our friendship. but when I look back at all four of us; soph, gav, you, me, maybe we just weren’t made to be. you guys look much happier now than you did before. maybe I was a shitty friend. I don’t understand why no one ever told me and why I had to lose you guys so abruptly because you were all I had. I had to turn to the internet to make friends because you guys all went a different route. but maybe it is all my fault. regardless, I hope you have the best life

You are so fucking sensitive. You’re a fucking skank, and you ruined my fucking life. I can’t even fucking talk to my best friend anymore because of you. You took EVERYTHING from me. All because you were offended over ONE JOKE.

The rain. The alcohol. The hug. Ingredients for disaster, yet that 1 simple hug brought all my feelings back.

I thought you'd understand. I thought you'd get what it's like to tell someone you love that you love them and have them not say it back. Because you've also had to sit back and watch as the one person you wanted, you liked, you loved and you would've done anything for, chase someone else. I guess I was wrong about you.
I'll always love you.

hey.. been a while since we talked. it's approaching what would have been our 3rd anniversary and i cannot stop thinking about you. i understand that our relationship was incredibly toxic and you were very manipulative but you were my first love. i loved you so much and to find out u only got w/ me out of pity because u felt bad for me and u thought eventually you would fall in love with me was absolutely heart shattering. i haven't been in a relationship since we broke things off for good last year. i don;t know if i can even say we were together for 2 years because of how off and on it was. every time i would leave u, somehow u would convince me that u changed and then the cycle of manipulation would repeat. i guess it is partly my fault for going back so many times, but it does not make it hurt any less.

I love you. So much. Theres a lot I wish I could tell you, but I don't want to seem annoying or attention seeking. Im sorry if i leave. Please forgive me. It's getting harder every day.

Hayley... I've loved you for a while now. And I still do. Some days I come home and think you hate me, You love someone else, you and I will never become. Other days I come home and think you might love me back. I wish... you would just love me, and let me know you love me, so we could have each other and be happy for as long as possible.

I wish you could understand how much I love you. I’m not a player like the others I truly do love you so much