Unsent messages to GRANDPA

i just wish i gave you a hug,said how much i love you.i miss you.so here it is.last i love you pa.

I can’t believe you’re gone.I hope I make you proud. I love you. I miss you bunches.

I wish I would’ve said goodbye while you were still here to hear me.

going through all of our chats and watching all the stuff you recced now... im sorry

i hope that all the pain you endured became foreign to your soul. I miss you a lot grandpa.

You’re the only one I felt I didn’t NEED to tell I was gay. Thanks for being so awesome.

I wish I had given you one last hug, I had the chance to do so but I didn’t, I’m sorry.

I grieve that you weren't here to see who I became. My sisters don't remember you.

The last time I saw u I was rude I would take it back if u were still here

I miss you I regret not holding your hand before you passed. I love you grandpa

I hope you're proud of me

I wish I could remember you.

Are you the yellow butterflies I’m seeing everywhere? We love and miss you <3

I should have listened to to you long ago. People love the real me. Miss you.

I wish u didn’t take ur life that night, i’ve never seen nan cry so hard, ur missed by so many????️????

I love you and miss you and wish you could be here for the growth of my life

i wish you could’ve taught me more before you left us.

I wish I could visit you one more time in the hospital

I miss you every day, and I don't think anything can fix the void you left in my heart, love you.

I hope you knew how much you meant to me

I miss you way more than i ever thought i would.

I hope you’re proud of me, love and miss you so much <3

it's been 3 years and I'm not done with grief, I miss you.

we’re having spaghetti and rum&coke for you. we love & miss you

i just want to hear your laugh once more

i wish you we’re still here. i miss you so much

I miss you grandpa, I wish you could've taught me the drums more

I'm sorry i couldn't say goodbye, i was 5 and very stupid... but I love you so much.. you still have a massive piece of my heart with you and you'll always be with me.Every year I miss our family dinners in new year's eve... Please come back, without you there is no family...

i was thinking about you the other day, discovered i can't remember your voice, can't hear it playing over and over again in my head. i don't want to forget you yet. i miss you.

Thank you for all your love and patience. I'm sorry that I was so stupid that I never showed you how much I loved you.

hii,
i miss you
its really hard without you. but im doing it. im taking care of everybody. and grandma is okay believe me. and we all love you so mutch. take care of yourself. im proud of you. (purple special for you because you loved it)

i miss you man
can you please come back. your always be my bestfriend. heaven, please take care of my grandpa

You aren’t able to understand what I’m saying anymore because you’re so sick, but I hope you know that you made my childhood a little brighter. I wish we could’ve had more time, I wish we would’ve done more together. I’m scared to meet you again, scared for it to be the last time. Thank you for everything, I’ll never forget your smile.

Hey grandpa. Its been awhile. You have no idea what its like down here without you. Its been almost 5 years without you. I miss you more and more each day. I think about you all the time. You meant so much to me. I wish you were here to watch me grow up. You were the father I never had. I miss the hum of the lawnmower in the afternoons, the sound of you rummaging through the freezer looking for ice cream. I miss you so much, Grandpa. I'm afraid I'm gonna forget your face forever. It feels like everyone's forgotten you. That's what i hate. I wish i could have one last hug from you. Or one last ice cream cone. I hope youre doing good up there. I hope youre watching over me. I miss you so fucking much it hurts.

you were the father i never had, losing you has been really hard but im happy i was with u until the very end

I know I lost you sooner than I thought I would have. I miss you. I wish you could see me now. I'm not in the best place, but I'm here. I just wish you were here with me.

Not all first loves are romantic. You taught me how to love and cared about me when no one else did. My world fell apart when you left us. I miss you with my whole heart.

Hey grandpa, it's almost been a year since you passed, I miss you. I wish you were still here. I wish that I still had you here to go and see you constantly, I wish that the smell of those Marlboro cigarettes that you smoked was still there. But only that slight tint of it, the way you would laugh at a joke and do the handshake with Harley and I. Thanksgiving where you and my uncles would have a beer or two and watch us grandkids outside or talk about whatever topic you guys wanted to talk about. I wish I could tell you that I was in a real relationship this summer, and that I'm joining the Air Force next summer, I want to tell you that everything is great and that someday you could go to my high school graduation and I could hug you after getting my diploma next year. I wish that I could see you again, smiling and being full of joy when seeing us grandkids. I always wondered how you never had a single gray hair on you head, just in your beard, the lack of it made you look so young and youthful, just like your heart. I wish I could hug you one last time. I wish I could tell you that I love you one last time while leaving your house. Not that terrible night in the hospital when I didn't get to say goodbye, when I lost you for well... forever. I remember how frail and fragile your hands felt, and the shaking breathing I heard from you before everything happened. I miss you. I don't miss those nights when I would lay in bed crying and thinking I wouldn't see you the same way and praying to the god I believed in, to keep you here. He took you too soon and honestly I'm scared of losing my religion. I don't want to but grandpa, I don't know how to believe in a god whenever he took me away from you and didn't keep you here and healed you. I wanted you to see me graduate high school and basic, I wanted you to hear all of my stories and get to meet my best friends. I promise that I'll see you again someday and thats when I'll run into your arms and hug you as tight as I can. I miss you and I'll love you for forever.

~ Your granddaughter Alayna Marie

i just want to hold your hand one last time and hear your laugh and feel your hug. i want you to walk in the door with those cinnamon buns and tease me. i want to see you in your church suit one last time. i want you to wink at me across the dinner table or even just smile. i wanted to say goodbye. photos and memories will have to do for now. i like tea now did you know? shame we can’t drink it together.

One day I'll see those damn northern lights and you're gonna be there with me. Love you forever grandpa.

I miss you, now more than ever. I hope you are doing good up there i'll be visiting you soon don't worry. I was very little when you died so i din't really understand what was happening but then, when i grew up i understood. See you soon and one last thing FUCK CANCER.

I miss you so much, I dream about you every damn night, but they are no longer good dreams, they become nightmares. I love you so much... I hope to see you again one day

Hey. It’s been years since we talked but I love you. I hope heavens fun. Don’t forget to knock Jesus’s socks off

i miss you. i’m so thankful for that day and i remember how proud you were of me. thank you for all the memories. rest easy.

i'm sorry i never got to say goodbye, it's torture without you but im trying my best, i wish you were here

I wish I could've go back time and change the day you died. I wish I could've hugged you. I'm sorry and I miss you.