Why did you leave the way you did? I didn’t deserve that. I understand you wanted to work on yourself, but to push me away because of that? It doesn’t make me any less angry or hurt the way you left. And the way you cheated on me like that? And for what? Were you just bored ?

Every single time I’m in the chick drive thru line I look over at where we spent the night in the back of my car in the Pizza Hut parking lot. It hurts me so bad. All the memories. Gabe’s home now for a couple months but it’s not the same. I miss you but you aren’t even you anymore. I really hope that one day you come back if you really love me. I think you loved me, just not as much as you say you did

I hope you’re doing better in life, from your snaps it seems like you are but no one also posts the bad shit goin on in life. Do you ever think about me? Do you ever think about the 5 days we spent together? The 7 months of life we built together? Do you even care ? You just up and left so easily. All you did was run when it got hard

Do you remember Chicago? The bean, all the Teslas, the tilt, the beach, the buildings, the navy pier, the restaurants, the car ride, the stadium, the water park, the fedora man, the elevator ride? All of that? I wish you coulda seen the look on your face the whole time, you loved it all. Everything about that day was perfect. And Grand Rapids? Throwing the rest of my muffin at things and making it stick, almost getting hit by buses, going and looking at all the big houses and running through the sprinklers, meeting that crazy lady’s dog, sitting in that random persons tree swing chair, watching you learn so much. 7 months wasn’t enough time. I miss you so much

We talk a little more now again, but it isn’t the same. I miss how it used to be. It was fun and exciting and now you barely act like I’m around. I feel like you couldn’t care less if we talked or not. You say you do but I really don’t know. Are you gonna ever come back ? Will it ever be the same ? Do you say what you mean? Am I just living in the past ?

You called me for the first time last night in about a month. I almost didn’t answer but I did. You told me about your plans. You also told me how much you have to fill me
in on. You wanna go to welding school. You seemed so happy about it. Your voice sounded different, maybe you have a cold. But you wanna move somewhere far away after you have enough money for it. I hope you chose to move closer to me:). That would be a dream come true and if you don’t like it here you could always move somewhere else. I mean you said your second choice for college was here even before you knew me. If you move far away how are we supposed to workout later on again? But then again if I do take you back, are you just gonna leave the same way you did again the first time? I hope you choose what’s best for you though but I also hope where you choose is closer to me. Please some leave again and if you do don’t come back

It’s been 3 months since you left. Within those 3 months I’ve come to realize you didn’t really love me. And I’m truly ok with that. I mean telling me you did was fucked. But if all my exes were in the same room, you wouldn’t be the one I’d run to anymore. I truly let go of my claim on you. If you ever read this chain, soak it in. But in the slight chance that you were actually telling me the truth that you actually loved me, think of me. The girl from 9 hours away that dedicated so so much time and effort into your life just to build something. No fights, no problems. Just something beautiful. And you were the first person to truly tear down my walls. I hope you’re actually doing ok. Deep down you acted more sad than you actually were just so I’d leave you alone. Ultimately you broke the bond. You tore it down. Everything you promised. And when I called you balling my eyes out to ask you why. All you did was talk over me and all you said was “I don’t care, I don’t care”. I asked you if you’re with her and you ultimately said yes. You left me. You left for a downgrade. And it’s ok. I did everything I could for you. And it was enough. You decided to throw that away and take advantage of that. What did I lose? Someone who cheated on me and lied. What did you lose? The girl you claimed was your whole world. If you loved me you wouldn’t have fucked her, even if we were broken up. Because you told me you wanted to get back with me. You wouldn’t have done that. So yes, you left. For a downgrade. And I know you’ll treat her the exact same way you treated me at the end. I can honestly say to you now if you came back you wouldn’t be what I want anymore. The version of you that used to exist 9 months ago, in a heartbeat I’d go back. But he’s gone. He left. And I don’t know why. But I let go of my claim on you. I will always remember how you played for me and how your arm jiggles when I touch a certain spot. And how you stick your tongue out before you laugh. I see now that god removed you from my life for a reason. You never cared. And in the back of my mind I lowkey somehow always knew. But I don’t hurt anymore. You hung up thay phone call with no explanation. The last thing I said to you was “why aren’t I enough. What does she have that I don’t?” And you hung up and didn’t say anything. And that’s when I knew it’s really all over. You taught me how a healthy relationship should be for a while. Thank you truly. It felt so good. I was so invested in you. But you weren’t for me, that’s how it always goes. But I know that I’m enough. And you aren’t around anymore to see it. You don’t deserve me. But fairwell, ex lover

Just cuz you came back and you’re here 50% of the time doesn’t mean your love came back. It’s dull and emotionless. Deep down I don’t know what to feel. My gut is telling my you’re over it and wanna move on but my mind is telling me that you’ll come back and it’ll be how it used to be. Only you know the true reasons you left. You broke the connection. You pulled back. You let this go. It’s time for me to do the same. In 4 months it’ll be a year since you. I told you that and you didn’t even remember

I got a merry Christmas text from you. That’s all I wanted. Thank you. But I let you go today. And I felt god. For 5 minutes I truly felt at peace. I didn’t hurt. I felt free. It’s time to let go. This is goodbye. I want you to have a merry Christmas though. I did everything I could for you. And I know it was enough. I want you to love the next how we were in the beginning forever. I will not tell you I wish you the best, simply because that would be a lie. You hurt me. I’m so mad at you and confided still why you felt you had to let me go. Maybe one day I’ll get that answer but I don’t think it will be any time soon. We never made it official. And that’s what I think makes it hurt more. I hope you got your prayers answered. I hope god spoke through me to get to you over this past year. I hope he helped you fall in love with the things you used to hate about yourself through me. He shows up in the form of a lover. For some reason in the back of my mind I knew you’d leave someday. I truly did. I shouldn’t have ignored it. I needed you then. There’s signs of you everywhere. You taught me not to be afraid to sing for people. Thank you. Now it’s time for me to learn how to unlove you and detach from you. It’ll be bittersweet. Goodbye, my almost lover & truly merry Christmas