Unsent Messages

It’s been 3 months since you left. Within those 3 months I’ve come to realize you didn’t really love me. And I’m truly ok with that. I mean telling me you did was fucked. But if all my exes were in the same room, you wouldn’t be the one I’d run to anymore. I truly let go of my claim on you. If you ever read this chain, soak it in. But in the slight chance that you were actually telling me the truth that you actually loved me, think of me. The girl from 9 hours away that dedicated so so much time and effort into your life just to build something. No fights, no problems. Just something beautiful. And you were the first person to truly tear down my walls. I hope you’re actually doing ok. Deep down you acted more sad than you actually were just so I’d leave you alone. Ultimately you broke the bond. You tore it down. Everything you promised. And when I called you balling my eyes out to ask you why. All you did was talk over me and all you said was “I don’t care, I don’t care”. I asked you if you’re with her and you ultimately said yes. You left me. You left for a downgrade. And it’s ok. I did everything I could for you. And it was enough. You decided to throw that away and take advantage of that. What did I lose? Someone who cheated on me and lied. What did you lose? The girl you claimed was your whole world. If you loved me you wouldn’t have fucked her, even if we were broken up. Because you told me you wanted to get back with me. You wouldn’t have done that. So yes, you left. For a downgrade. And I know you’ll treat her the exact same way you treated me at the end. I can honestly say to you now if you came back you wouldn’t be what I want anymore. The version of you that used to exist 9 months ago, in a heartbeat I’d go back. But he’s gone. He left. And I don’t know why. But I let go of my claim on you. I will always remember how you played for me and how your arm jiggles when I touch a certain spot. And how you stick your tongue out before you laugh. I see now that god removed you from my life for a reason. You never cared. And in the back of my mind I lowkey somehow always knew. But I don’t hurt anymore. You hung up thay phone call with no explanation. The last thing I said to you was “why aren’t I enough. What does she have that I don’t?” And you hung up and didn’t say anything. And that’s when I knew it’s really all over. You taught me how a healthy relationship should be for a while. Thank you truly. It felt so good. I was so invested in you. But you weren’t for me, that’s how it always goes. But I know that I’m enough. And you aren’t around anymore to see it. You don’t deserve me. But fairwell, ex lover