Unsent messages to COLE

i hate you with every single living cell in my body but for some reason you're still living in the back of my fucking mind and i hate you for that

i try to get over liking you every day but it's hard thinking about all of the memories of us. it sucks bc you mean so much to to other girls than me. this is my second "letter" i'm writing about you because my mind does not stop thinking about you which is a good thing ig. i wish you would realize how much i wish i was w u and how i'm always here for u. i hope u find your way back to me somehow. i just wish u knew... :(

i miss you so much. it’s been 7 months today without you. you have a girlfriend and your happy. and i’m just heartbroken. i love you.

i wasn’t the best girlfriend, but at least i didn’t talk bad about you with other guys/girls like you did.

im lowkey in love w u, n ur rly cute and nice but definitely a player, whenever we hangout it's super fun and i enjoy being w you too bad you won't know who wrote this to you

There's so much I want to say to you but I know you wouldn't understand. I wish things were different.

I finally deleted all of the pictures and videos. I still have some stuff of yours i need to let go of, i just haven’t brought myself to it yet. Looking back I can’t believe how much I ignored and how i managed to allow it to get to that point. Although I do take some blame for our end I also know it was not all me. All i’ve wanted from you was a genuine apology. One where you don’t turn it back on me or make excuses. There shouldn’t be excuses in response to someone telling you they’re hurt. I know i will probably never get that, and that’s okay, im working on forgiving the both of us with time. I hope you never have to experience the level of heartbreak I felt that day you left. Goodbye.

I can't listen to "Drops of Jupiter" without thinking of you. Or "Banana Pancakes", or "sitting, waiting, wishing", or "upside down". I still love these songs, but now they're a bit bittersweet. Do things remind you of me, or was I not important enough

It was my first kiss too, and you kind of ruined it. You told your friends that I was a bitch and a bad kisser. I think you forgot that some of them were my friends too.

I know I used to tease you about it, but I think your hair is beautiful. I tried not to stare at you in AP World but you sat so close to me and when the sun hit your hair it glowed. It looked like one of your secrets. I wanted to learn all of them. Sometimes I still do.

Sometimes I can't tell if I ever loved you. Maybe I just fell in love with the version of you that I was given.

i might fall out of love with u one day, but i’ll always have so much love 4 u. i miss u.
i love you.
kendall

You broke me but I still love you. I will always love you, but you know that, and you take advantage of that

Trying to replace you and what we had is as hard as letting go the fact that i cant call you mine anymore

It hurt me so bad. We have been together for a year and a half and you could throw me away like that? Find an apartment behind my back and leave for college without me when you told me you couldn’t be away from me? I could’ve never done to you what you did to me. You turn around after you broke my heart and go back to all of those girls I begged you not to talk to because it hurt me, and you still did it. I don’t understand how you could tell me you loved me so much and how I could dump my heart into you and you just leave me devastated.

i find you in everything i do, everything i see, and everything i feel. and i don’t think i’ll ever stop searching.

i miss when things were simpler. i know they won't ever be the same and that's scary but okay. love u

The lack of emotional commitment has impaired every chance of a relationship i’ve ever been given. You are the first to convince me that it’s worth improving.

i love you so much and you absolutely shattered my heart. i hope you come back to me please, i need you and you promised you would never leave.

fuck you. you were everything to me i spent days waiting for u to respond to my text messages and i hoped for something. the thought of u not being in my life anymore was so difficult for me to come to terms with. we never dated but i fucking loved you for so many years i was the only person who was consistent in your life. even when u knew i wanted to be more than friends you still went to people who made you feel good for a week or two. you hurt me and more importantly some of my friends. you never kept your promises and when i tried confronting you about all of this you paid no mind. we were so close and now i can’t even remember you’re favorite color. i’m done thinking about you and i hope you find what you’re looking for eventually cause it won’t be with me.

Even though it felt like we fell out of love, everything fell apart when we fell apart, and I would give the world to go back.

hahah hey i miss you it’s been forever i just wish things could’ve at least ended differently , our time together wasn’t supposed to be over

i’m glad you ended what we had because i never would have and our lives are better without each other in them

There will always be a place in my heart for you. No matter how many times you have broken me, I still love you.

even from 3,000 miles away, you were my person, but i was never yours.
i was a temporary fix for your loneliness until you found someone better.
i just wish you told me that before i had to figure it out for myself.

you were my first love years ago; I still love you but now it’s in this limbo between romance and friendship

I'm not sure what happened to us. I wish you would've talked to me about it instead of cutting me off.

some girl is walking around right now with no idea how lucky she is that you're her future,
but i do.
and i'll forever be jealous.

I think about you everyday and even though I know you don’t want me, and I pretend I don’t, I wish you still did.

hey handsome... it’s been while i miss you. just wanted to let you know that i’m here for you and i love you sm. thanks for making the last 6 months the best?

i think im in love with you. but u probably dont care. i wonder if u think of me too. hope ur doing well.

i think im in love with you. but u probably dont care. i wonder if u think of me too. hope ur doing well.

Why would act like I don’t exist without care after everything I’ve done for you behind closed doors?

i’m not sure what i did but i think we could have been really good for each other. i could of seen myself truly being with you.

i don’t know why i still think about you. it’s been a long time since we’ve ever even talked. i don’t really miss you, but i miss what we had. we were good, and i’m sorry about the way things ended. you asked me a while ago if i still
think about or appreciate the good times. at the time i said no, but i was. we had a good time, and i
hope you are doing better and feeling better. and i hope that you are your girlfriend are doing good

you caused me a lot of anxiety, you would say mean things to me, you didn’t like my friends, so why am I so in love with you

i wish you would believe me when i say i hate you because i do from the bottom of my heart, but i love you at the same time

it's my birthday on sunday- I know I told you not to reach out again, but a part of me hopes you will

I’ll never believe that it’s not us. Unless I stop breathing, there’s always more time for us to work

every time I want to push the limits and ask you to start over with me I submit one of these and call you my friend

You said you’d marry me but you left. Why would you break me like that? Why would you tell me the things through our friendship and relationship and then leave like that? I thought you loved me.

it really sucks that it never went anywhere.. i liked you. you liked me. but then you just walked away and never told me why

stfu you are so annoying go read the ones about you and see how much you hurt her. go fix yourself and stop being such a douche.

if im being honest, you broke me. but i cried most of it out now, so its ok. i hope you're happy now.

you were my best friend. i truly loved you. how could you just leave me like that? how can you act as if i don’t exist? you hurt me. you hurt me when i needed you most.

hey. hope you’re happy with her. but i just wanted to let you know that i loved you and i still care bout you even tho you probably don’t give a shit about me anymore. when i hear “our song” it gives me memories and now your making the same ones with her. f you.

if u weren't with jada i would honestly fuck the shit out of u. lemme suck ur dick. remember when we kissed and u said i was bad. well fuck u and ur mom. anywho. luv u. text jada back shes lonely

I feel like we don't work at a fundamental level. That we both need very different things in this relationship. I wanted to break up with you a while ago, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I would give the world to you to make you happy, but you would never do the same for me. I honestly deserve so much better than you, but if I left you'd fall apart, and I don't think I can do that to you. But I think if I stay, I myself will fall apart. I think you need to understand who you are as a person and what you need in a relationship before you're ready for one. You always make excuses instead of fixing problems, and eventually it'll be the reason I get fed up and break it off with you. Fuck, I wish I could just tell you this stuff.

it was unfair to tell me that you liked her while we were dating and while you told me not to worry about her our whole relationship

dear cole, thank you. thank you for all youve done, all you continue to do, and all that you will do. when i met you, i wasnt in a good place, and though it sounds stupid i didnt really know how much longer i could live like that, then after summer i got the job. i remeber when we first met, and i thought you hated me, really you didnt even know who i was. we got closer after we texted about an overnight and my first impression of you was you’re someone who puts others before himself, something i’m quite firmiliar with, and have been pretty good friends id say since. Though ive only known you for like 4 months i can honestly say im so thankful to have you in my life, ik it seems stupid but you’re genuinely one of the best parts of it and if im being honest i know im probably not that for you, and thats okay. your humour and selflessness continues to be a lasting image in my mind when i think of you. i just hope you know how amazing of a person you are and that i can honeslty say idk where id be if i didnt end up working with you. lot of love