Unsent messages to CA'GALAAR

I love every single bit of you. Thank you for showing me yourself. Your true self. Your naked body. Your nerdy self. Your vulnerable self. You. I will always love all of you.

I was never a bitter person. I was just edgy, not bitter.


I'll try not to take my pain (forgot that word existed lmfao) out on everyone else. I let the people who do that affect me and our relationship.

I never understood why bitter people were the way that they were. But now that I'm hurt, every wholesome meme, every couple that I see, every happy person that I see, hurts me. I wish I could send them to you. I wish I can tell you about them. I wish we were still like them. I miss you.

I learned that nothing lasts forever when I was only 11.


That's why I was a nonbeliever when we got together. I knew that already, but if I did then why does it hurt so fucking much?

In my own little world, you still want to be with me. I'll just pretend everything is fine. I'll just pretend that you're still mine. I'll just create another you. He'll have all your qualities, the only difference is that he still loves me. I'll just live in delusion from now on.

I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY I COULDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE BARE MINIMUM. I'M SO SORRY I BROKE THE CONTRACT. IF ONLY I HAD IT WITH ME EVERYDAY. Fuck. I really wish I did. One thing I know is, I'll never break the last one.

I wish I didn't speak when you asked me which of K's rocks looked the prettiest so I have one last thing to remember you by.

Not about you, I just wanna rant. You didn't make me depressed and hopeless. You made me heartbroken. But that heartbrokenness made me realize how no one talks to me, which caused me to feel hopeless and depressed. It's not your fault. I just... don't know how to deal with this. Just tell me that you love me. Maybe you don't need to. Your actions tell me otherwise.

By the way, I had this bad idea to put the note you wrote me in my phone case. I didn't like any of the polaroids we took, but I don't know why I only thought of this now, when you're not mine anymore.

I'm rewatching it so I could feel like I'm not good enough. But all it told me was that it did apply to me. You told me all of those. But I was always beautiful in your eyes.

I Still Love you, but your stubbornness makes me So ANGRY. And you wouldn't even give a proper apology for accusing me of blackmail. Because you don't care. You think your point goes over MY head??? My point goes over YOUR head. I guess... I guess we will never truly understand each other. We're just too stubborn to listen. And you say we have nothing in common. So now tell me, what's the real reason that you don't want me to hate you?

I am so hurt because I'm so confused. I don't understand how all that can change in a few minutes. How could you be making promises about being with me just a few hours before all that? How could YOU throw it all away like that? You were the one who believed from the beginning.

Did that video apply to me? Did you sit down and think about wanting a life with me? Did I challenge you? What changed?

I regret all our arguments now. I'm really sorry. I realize that now. I'm sorry. I'm not saying this to get back with you. I just realize how stupid I was now. I'm really really sorry. I'd tell you but you'd just ignore me anyway.

Hey, remember how you borrow my Spanish book? I give it to you as soon as we get out of 1st period because ours were literally right next to each other. I put a neon pink sticky note in mine, just for you. Today, I went and dug up a note that you gave me. "Have a great day and keep your chin up ♡" I'm keeping it under my pillow, along with a card that has a drawing of a rocket on it and it says "I love you to the moon and back." I'm keeping it to make me smile, and remind me of love. Your love. Even if you ever stop, but I doubt that you will. Mahal kita.

Two years is longer than you and I thought we'd ever get with anyone. I will never forget the heart-shaped cookies. I hope it's true that the first few weeks of us being together will always hold a special place in your heart.

If only I knew that was the last time we were ever going to exchange "My tummy hurts" "Awww babe, I wish I can help"

You did love me with all your heart. You still do. Hinding-hindi talaga ako makakahanap ng tulad mo. Ikaw lang.

YOU PROMISED ME.

YOU PROMISED ME THAT IN 2021, YOU'RE GOING TO BE BY MY SIDE AND CARE FOR ME EVERYDAY. YOU TOLD ME, I'M THE LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE. YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE ON A PICNIC ONCE THIS SHIT'S OVER. YOU TOLD ME YOU CARE FOR ME.



AND THEN YOU TOLD ME, "I JUST DON'T WANNA MAKE PROMISES I CAN'T BE SURE I CAN KEEP."


YOU PROMISED ME.

Bruh I dreamed about kissing you again, except this time you just texted about wanting to do it. Yeah my brain's just making this all up.

Good morning. Did you eat breakfast yet? I'm sorry I didn't send you a goodnight message, I fell asleep right after crying.

One thing I will NEVER, EVER regret is how I said yes to you even though I knew it was too early. I'm so happy I took the chance. I'm so happy you loved me. I'm so happy that I made you happy. I'm so happy that I made you love yourself. I'm so happy that you learned from me. I love you with all my heart.

Fuck you corona. If it weren't for you, I would have been able to kiss the love of my life one last time before we broke up. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I was able to see him.

Maybe I'll never get over you. I'll just learn how to deal with my feelings for you. I hope you stay in my life though.

I can't even go outside without feeling sad because I'll always remember our last kiss in the parking garage.

I cry instantly whenever you say something nice to me because I know you still love me but I will never get why we aren't together anymore.

You used to be so proud about how long we've been together. How could you throw all that away? You were so excited for our 2 year anniversary... which is next month...

You can delete and throw away all our photos but no matter how forgetful you are I know your memories of me will be with you forever.


Also I saved every single one anyway. They'll always be here.

What do I have to do for you to take me back? Please. I still love you. You can't possibly just throw everything away.

If everything I'm expressing right now doesn't show how much I care about you, then I don't know what else will.

Goodnight. I don't fucking know why but you mean a lot to my heart. Mahal kita. Promise you'll take care of yourself?

I have all the potential to write a song about you right now but I'm not that talented unlike your sister

I would do anything for you. I would take you to see all of the stars in the galaxy if I could. I would name one after you too.

What the fuck was the point of jack dumping me if it didnt help me be stronger about this ellis breakup smh ???

You know... I only had a little crush on you. And then I fell more and more and more and more and more in love with you every single day. Now here I am, wasting tears over you.

Whenever I said I wish we could've hung out before breaking up... you never even brought that up. What happened?

Hey, you still mean a lot to me. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that a lot. I hope I showed it though. Physically. You still do. I hope you know that.

I'm so sorry I never thought about the consequences of my actions. I wasn't aware that someday... you won't forgive me. Someday... you'll get tired. I wasn't aware that we weren't going to be together forever.

Are you over me? The truth.








I won't believe that you're not. TWO years. I know how you felt about me. You can never just... get over all of that.

I'm going to call you when this semester ends, if my teachers don't assign any homework, which I doubt. But I promise, I'll call you as soon summer ends.

Clusterhug is the only idkhow song I've been listening to ever since you dumped me. Wtf have you done

Nevermind I think my period is just coming up. Still miss you though.



This is the Jojo equivalent of "wyd"

I saw a photo of me 2 yrs ago, I remember that was the time you were absent from school and I was sad because you weren't there to walk me home.

Mark replied to my story, I posted about my mint chapstick burning, it's probably that. I already know it's not gonna be any good so I'm just gonna ignore it.

Hey... thanks for responding though. At least you still care. You can never make me feel like I'm back in a classroom again.

Should kids be allowed to be kids and go through the rollercoaster of life, or should they be spared from getting early heartbreaks?

Do you still want to be friends?


I'm really sorry I said I hated you I didn't mean it I was just so angry about not being yours anymore

You literally have no idea my tears fucking fell INSTANTLY when I got your notification it's like I have a crush on you or something and then I switched whatever I was listening to to Clusterhug

Bruh unless you do something shitty it's literally never gonna go away. My heart is now immune to your political bs.

I guess I still love you. In my head, I don't know. Trying not to. But everything else I do, what do they say?