I would do anything right now to be able to have your hoodies smell like you again, I miss your smell, if I think hard enough it’s like I can actually smell you again but then I get sad because for a split second I thought you were with me but I know you aren’t.

It hurts thinking of you being with someone else, doing everything you did with me, with them.
I don’t wanna start new with someone else
Because all I’ll ever want is YOU.
Please don’t leave me behind.

All I want right now is to text you and talk,
I’m currently lying in my bed and it’s 2:12am and I can’t get you off my mind, I just wanna be in your embrace have you holding me again like you did the first day I met you. I know I gotta hold on because you will be back one day but this pain in the meantime is so soul crushing.

My phone glitched and when it finally turned back on the home screen was all different and zoomed in, looked so weird so I went to go have a look and fit it but it was you, the picture it had as my home screen was my favourite picture of you.
It was taken while us being on FaceTime , you were talking about me and your eyes were so sparkly seeing it again made my heart sunk. Seeing your smile made me tingle in a good but also a a bad way because I know I won’t get to see it again for a long time.
I would still have it as my home screen as it brings me such joy but I thought that would be weird. I changed it weeks ago when you left me and idk if this is a sign to hold on to you a bit longer.
I hope it is a sign.

You used to be my Safe place, the one person who I would go to when I was in need. Now Seeing your account or anything to do with you, even your friends on social media sends me into such a anxiety attack. What happened to us ?
What happened to that safety you made me feel ?
Now I’m absolutely terrified of you like I once was of “him”. You played yourself baby, you lost your twin flame? and sent us to ashes.

Why did you have to leave my life ? You promised a forever with me and I so badly want that more than anything.
Your my twin flame Alex, I can’t picture myself having a future with anyone else but you. Come back to me one day my love. Forever and always;

I can’t even eat anymore.
I’ve gone off every food there is, it all makes me sick to my stomach.
Even chocolate hurts me.

Is this what heartbreak dose ? Can you eat ? Or are you the same ?

I wish I could run to your house and knock on your door and hug you and show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you because I don’t ever want you to not the in my life like you are right now, your everything to me Alex why can’t you see that ? This is absolute torture I’m so broken inside without my other half. The hole in my heart that got filled when I met you Is now even bigger that your gone and i’m not even sure if it will ever be repaired again because with you leaving you also took a lot of me with you , please take care of what you took.

Think I might be in your position now, it sucks
Hope you're doing okay these days