every so often you cross my mind. with the possibility of seeing you again looming i don’t know what to do. all i want to do is apologise, but i don’t know if you can stand me . i didn’t love you then but i think that i could have

I thought i hated you, but you did nothing wrong, S painted a horrible image of you in my mind, i hope you’re happy x

Se que nunca vas a leer esto, pero necesito decirlo para así cerrar este ciclo, y tal vez con suerte, lo podrás encontrar. Siempre me dijiste que las mejores amistades partían del odio, pero siempre supe que lo nuestro fue mas que amistad. No te culpo de nada, fui yo quien se alejo, tenía miedo, miedo de que te dieras cuenta de lo que sentía por ti era más que amistad y me vieras de otra forma, por lo que decidí alejarme y justificarlo con que ya no eras la misma persona que antes. Nuestros recuerdos juntas cruzan mi mente de vez en cuando, como solíamos reír entrenando juntas, o viendo maratones de películas (gusto adquirido) y series, y me pregunto si tu recuerdas eso, y si de alguna forma me extrañas. No hay día que no me pregunte si el amor que yo sentía por ti, lo sentías tu también, si había una posibilidad para nosotras en el caso de haber hecho las cosas distintas. No se exactamente cuando me enamore de ti, tal vez fue cuando me ayudaste a pasar ese momento tan difícil, o tal vez fue cuando me di cuenta que significabas todo para mi y estaba dispuesta a hacer cualquier cosa para hacerte feliz. Fuiste y eres mi primer amor, te extraño, pero tal vez esto sea lo mejor, tal vez ya sea momento de avanzar. Adiós Antonia, acá esta el párrafo que nunca tuve la fuerza para enviar.

ik we're besties, but sometimes i write u a long emotional text trying to be vulnerable and i cut and paste it into my journal and never send it

I used to think that you were the coolest girl ever. You made me smile all the time. I’d still kiss you if I could

You seem like the type of person who goes out of their way to make everyone else happy, but not themself. You’re strong and focus on the positive in your life. You got this :)

I think u don't want to be part of my life anymore. It's okay as long as u are happy. I just hope ur not giving up .. love u always, your best friend.

if you see this i just wanted to say the time i spent with you was the best time i ever had in my life. it pains me each day that we aren’t what we said we were going to be. you helped me through many things no one else could have helped me through. you also loved me unconditionally until, well, anyways i’m sorry for everything and treating you horribly. once again, i cant thank you enough for everything.

Please don't go to Oxford if you get in. Please stay with me. I don't want to think about the last time I'll see you

Do you miss me?

i miss you

I just want your company, your a couple streets away so don’t hesitate to call me over.

You made me feel so seen. I’m so grateful we had each other when we did, even if we don’t talk now

Even if we don't talk anymore, you're still my favorite sibling.

i joke a lot but i love you so much, i just wanted you to know that.

It's been 3 years and I still find myself missing you. I'm not sure I'll ever fully get over you.

I wish I could’ve told you how much I really liked you before things happened.

think I've been hinting? I am, look at my saved folder, tells you all you need to know girlypop

I know words aren’t enough but I’m sorry. I hope if I see you again we won’t be strangers

im scared to say more in fear of you leaving. i want to have a meaningful life with you. you heal me

If you still feel anything, reach out to me. Give me a sign, I wouldn't want to disturb your peace.

Im sorry I had unresolved issues. I shouldn't have fallen in love. You deserved far better.
Love u.

you told me its your favorite color. didnt forget anything about you.

Of course I miss you. You are always in my heart.

I miss you so bad
I miss your voice
I miss everything about you.
I miss you my princess.

I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love your voice

i still think about you and those summer hangouts

You deserve the world, even if you might not believe it somedays. You do.

Its been months. Not a crush, obsession or an addiction. I love you, i cant lose you, but I did.

what could i have done to make you love me for what it was instead of what it could have been?

I’m sorry I hurt you

You were everything , i love you and i miss you so much.

You were always there for me.. i wish i wasn’t so scared to care for you