Unsent messages to VICKY

My sunshine. We’ve been together for like 6 months at this point, and I love you. But I worry that it’s not enough. I worry that I’m too fucked up to be with you.

You’re painfully normal. You do passive aggressive stuff, which shouldn’t even hurt me but i’m so traumatised that it scares the shit out of me. I feel like I don’t know where I stand with you anymore.

I don’t understand why you behave the way that you do. Maybe you’re too normal for me. Maybe you’re not normal at all. I’m scared to love you in case you leave like everyone else does.

Ya ha pasado más de un año desde que dejamos de hablar, estas a dos días de graduarte de 11 y la verdad me siento tan orgullos de ti, de que estás a nada de cumplir tus sueños, me duele tanto que no pueda estar a tu lado así como tú estuviste en mi grado, pero te felicito. Viste que si puedes!!! espero que algún día veas esto y sepas que te amo con todo mi corazón, que te perdono todo el daño que me hiciste y me perdones si en algún momento te he echo daño, espero que encuentras una persona que te amo y te valore así como lo hice yo, espero que el destino nos vuelva a poner juntos. Eres y siempre serás el amor de mi vida. Te amo Crespita hermosa.

I really miss the old times when we were best friends and we were so happy but I was trying so hard to be popular that when I reach my goal you were gone and now everything has change

Algun dia besare tus labios de nuevo, se que estamos hechos el uno para el otro, solo necesitamos tiempo

at one point I would’ve chosen you over anyone. you broke me. i feel so insecure in all my other relationships and friendships. i am filled with self doubt and I feel unlovable. i trusted you with my pain but it was too much. but I could never hate you.

thank u for saving my life when u didnt even know it. sorry i dont talk to u much, i dont wanna slip up and lose u.