I feel so alone even though i’m surrounded by people who “love” me. It just doesn’t feel like they do. How could they when i don’t even love myself

ive tried to move on. so hard. i look for you in everyone i meet. everytime i think im over you, i think about how my stomach would drop and my throat would get tight if i saw you in person again. its been so long since ive seen you. since ive heard your voice. im with someone else now, but hes not you. no one ever will be. no matter how bad you hurt me, how much you damaged me, i feel like i wont ever be able to love anyone else. and that terrifies me. you really messed me up. and i know you dont care, and i know you never think about me, but thats okay. i forgive you. i can't hate you. i still love you.

the minute i heard my first love story
i started looking for you. its a poem snippet i heard from the show mukhsin. it reminded me of you.

i’m sorry i couldn’t love you the way you needed.