I hate u ‘dad’ for what you did to me, my sister and my mum. I will never forgive you and the trauma you left behind.

Today was meh again. I cleaned my room and I’m getting ready to move a desk in for online school. I cried again tonight and I honestly needed a shoulder but there’s no one. I don’t wanna make my mom worried and my sister wouldn’t care. I have no friends that really care about me and my dog is honestly over me. I know it’ll get better but when? Anyway that’s all for today. I’m exhausted and it’s 1 in the morning. Goodnight

Daily diary entry: I always scroll through the archive hoping you’ll post something To remind me that you might still care. I have no one really and I guess I’m realizing that there’s so many things I kept from you about how I felt about things we would argue about. I wanted to protect your feelings and I think that’s where I went wrong. Because I know you’d be mad at me for a hot minute but you’d get over it like I did. Idek but I just kind of feel like if I disappeared no one would really care. Not even mom really. I feel so alone and I’m trying to make it positive but it sucks not having someone to talk to who actually wanted to talk to me. My family thinks I’m just a spoiled little bitch even if they don’t say it. But idk maybe you wouldn’t care if I disappeared either. I mean, everyone might pretend to care for a minute but then they’d stop. I just wish you cared I guess. But uh I get it. I wouldn’t care about me either. I don’t blame you and I hope for the best for you love you always

Hola! Primero que nada.. te deseo mucha felicidad.
Estoy de alguna forma agradecida con vos, sos de las primeras personas que se intereso en pasar tiempo conmigo, yo siempre tuve el problema de que no podia salir de mi casa y por esa y otras razones relacionadas a mi autoestima deje de verte, te puse excusas pelotudas y vos creyendo que era culpa tuya o por ahi eras asi con todas las personas pero nunca habian sido asi conmigo, siempre que algun me buscaba era porque queria algo y ese algo claramente no era conocerme ni pasar tiempo conmigo. Hoy en día me arrepiento tanto pero la verdad es que eso no cambia nada, nunca confie en las personas y claramente en mi tampoco; odio que de alguna forma mis inseguridades me hayan alejado de vos y ahora te veo bien, y espero estes siempre pq te lo mereces; capaz ni siquiera me querias pero creeme cuando te digo que yo si lo hacia y si en unos años nos volvemos a ver te voy a contar lo nerviosa que me ponias y no sabia cual era la razón y me voy a reir mientras te cuento que fue todo culpa mia para no llorar.
Ojala no tener todos estos alto y bajos y poder ser alguien para vos pero ya es tarde.

When you find out your “best friend” never really liked you and thought your problems weren’t valid so now you’re sitting questioning your other friends and self worth lol

i love every single thing of you. i can’t just forget you. the soft touches, the respect, the carefulness.