Unsent messages to PATRI

I hope college goes well but I won't ask (even if I want to)

i dont think u actually know how u saved my life, it hurts not being enough, i miss u my bff

I wrote some poems about you. I know they're shit but I put all my feelings into my notes app and hoped for the best. Do you know how it feels like to be stabbed in the gut? Probably not. I don't either but I can imagine the feeling of emptiness for a split second in your stomach. Terrifying isn't it? Before the pain and aftermath of the wound there's a moment of sheer nothingness, confusion, cold steel against your flesh. You wouldn't leave me would you? You wouldn't stab me and leave me bleeding on the floor right? I hope you don't but at the same time if that is to ever happen to me I hope you're the one that does it. You being the last thing I see before drifting away gives me some sort of comfort. This is getting weird isn't it? It's late, I should go to bed

I genuinely think you're my soulmate. I can't imagine myself without you. If you went through with your plan that day I probably wouldn't be here either. I love you. Please don't leave me. I care about you more than I could ever care about someone else. I just wish you could see that.

Wherever life gets you my heart is with you, maybe in another life we make eachother happy, still i'll spend even more of this one wanting to be yours