Unsent messages to OSCAR

i want to grow old with you

I’m so in love with you but it’s not the right time

im so in love with you

ur the love of my life i hope we last forever

i saw 7 shooting stars tonight. do you know what i wished for?

i want to get to know u

i miss you.

cutie

I think about you a lot, I wish you did too

i wonder why it all stopped so suddenly. i miss you

i love you so much, i think about you every day

just take care of yourself and come back when you're healed

you mean everything to me, baby

Creo que no eres mi primer amor y ni estoy segura de que algún día lo serás, pero agradezco que ahorita estés aquí.

im sorry, i still love you. i promised everyone i wouldn’t go back to being this way about you and its almost being a year since i stopped loving you and here we are again. im so sorry. you broke my heart and i miss it, i dont know why. i miss just being naive and in love with you.

i really like you and it's been a while since i've felt this way about someone and i can't tell if you like me back or not when you flirt with me , i can't see a future together with you but at the same time i can't imagine not being with you , you make me so happy even when you're just saying the most random stuff to me , and i love sending you memes and just staying up talking to you and it just hurts knowing that i won't be able to see you face to face because of the distance between us , i hope you don't leave me like you said you won't and i hope that when you told me i love you , you meant it , like how i meant mine .

I acc care about you a lot and would drop anyone over you, I wish you would see how much I care for you, I only imagine what it would be like for me and you if we shoved our pride to the side anyway I don’t normally open up but I adore you and I am in love with you.

Maybe you'll never realise how much I really love you. You make my lungs burn and my body weak. I adore everything about you and im hoping one day it sets me free.

I will always live you, whether we are together or apart. I want you to know you taught me to love myself and I cannot imagine life without you.

i thought you would be the one to fill this void. when you feel pain, i feel pain. when you feel love, i feel love. it’s unbearable to know that you don’t want me, even if you once did. i see you in my dreams all the time. it’s hard to know that i am the selfish one.

i wait for our union, although you’re tearing me apart. i wish you weren’t a runner. you’re home to me.

i'm gonna marry you one day. the memories we are making now are the ones we will one day tell our kids about.

i don't know how to tell you that i'm moving and transferring schools. we'll have to continue doing long distance and it's gonna break me. long distance w you rn in this pandemic has already proven to be pretty tough. i love you.

The night we danced, I wore blue. Everything I do, I think about what you would think of me. Last night I helped a guy cheat on his girlfriend. Even though it has nothing to do with you, you're still the person my world revolves around. I think of you every day even though we don't talk anymore. I hope your family issues are better now. It breaks my heart to see you sad :( I love you and I talk about you a lot. they call me crazy. I'm crazy for you, I guess. until next time!

what happened to us? i miss you and i miss everything and i know it can’t be the same way that it was before but what happened? am i not good enough for you? who am i to you? am i just your friend like she is? i can’t keep waiting for something that won’t happen if you don’t tell me what you want. i’m so tired of these mixed signals; i could never be tired of you though. i think that’s the problem.

I miss you everyday , i think about what we had everyday and i wish we could still be together. I’m sad i dont get to call you mine anymore. come back to me:(

weve been distant much longer than weve been close now and that pains me. we rushed and got into a relationship and i broke up to undo it but that only made it worse i hope you dont hate me im really sorry. ?

fuiste una de las personas mas maravillosas que conocí fuiste el único que se dio la oportunidad de conocerme y darme una oportunidad sin importar mi físico

Thanks for the music I went ew to when we were together, It’s made up most of my spotify wrapped now.

Vienes, arrasas con todo, ilusiones, corazones, amistades, incluso yo. Te vas y eso estaba malditamente bien para mi, pero ahora has vuelto, y aunque ya no importas como antes, el efecto que causas no se va.

whenever i get high i always think about texting you but i tell myself not to i wish we could be friends at least.

Oscar i don't even know where to start at first when i swiped right i never though you would message me and you did and i got butterflies and when we were sending snaps i wouldn't show my whole face at first because i was scared that you thought i was ugly and that you wouldn't like me and we got talking and it was like i had known you forever and i told you how i felt and i really like you and you said the same and you said i was so pretty and stunning and that made me so happy and i liked you even more however as time goes on it feels like you are loosing interest because we talk for about a hour and then you leave me on delivered for about 5 hours and it makes me overthink does he not like me what if he was just saying that to be nice is he talking to other girls and when i talk to you i feel the luckiest girl in the world ans when we aren't i don't even know what to do with myself and i thought i would let this out because i need to say it

There’s something about you. Your smile. Your hair. The way you say my name. It sounds like a song. I’ve never wanted someone this much. I want every part of you. Your smile, your voice, your arms around me. Your jaw gently sloping into a field of buttery brown curly hair. So messy but so soft, silky, perfect. Your eyes. Your clear blue eyes. I want to look into them the way in a way that I’ve never wanted anything before. Looking into your eyes makes me feel intoxicated. I want to run my fingers over your lips. I want your strong smooth soft arms to circle around me. I want to hold you close to me and never let you out of my embrace. I want to run my fingers over your face and kiss your pink lips. I want to trace my fingers over every inch of you. I’m incapable of leaving you alone. I can’t forget you. I can’t make myself not want you. Believe me, I’ve tried. But fate brought us together. It was through fates doing that I met you. I want to believe there’s something for us. I don’t know if there is. I don’t know if I can continue to believe that. But all I know is that o love you. Even with all of the shit you do I can’t stop loving you. I want you so badly. Every part of my soul craves you with no dignity. But I will never have you. I can watch from afar. But if I had one wish in this life, it would be to have you. Fully. Forever. I love you. I will do anything for you. I will take care of you. I’ll do anything you want me to. Absolutely anything. I love you I love you I love you. I’ve never met you but I love you. I love every part of you. Every smile every word every blink every second I’m alive knowing you. I want to hold your hands and smile and look into your eyes and tell you and kiss you. That’s all I want. Please. Let me love you. Let me do anything for sleepless nights and long kisses and to stroke your face. I love you with a part of me that’s never been alive before. Let me stroke your chin and put my hand on your chest and rest my lips on yours. Let me press myself against you and feel our heartbeats align. Let our breathing fall into perfect sync. Let every night of the rest of my life be spent with you. Let me caress you and share secrets and kiss you. Let me have kids with you. Let me grow old with you. Let me be with you for as long as our existence keeps us alive on this planet. Let me die with you. Let me go to heaven with you. I’ve always loved you. I was in love with you even before I met you. I’ll never be able to stop loving you. I’m incapable of doing so. I want you so badly. Please. I love you. I love you with every cell, every particle, every atom, every quark in my body. That’s all I want in this life.

i thought you were my person i thought that maybe over time i’d also be yours but i never did become your person, i never became the person you found peace in, the person you look for in a crowded room, the person you think about when someone talks about a person they love like you did for me. i sometimes feel like we could have been soulmates but we’re the type of soulmates who aren’t meant to be. when i was younger i always thought first loves would be the ones that are perfect and romantic and that you’d get together with your first love then eventually you’d break up and then you’d find each other again and get back together in a decades time but thats not what it is, maybe we will cross paths again in the future and be what i thought we were going to be. poems, i could still write so many poems about you. you’re still the light at the end of the tunnel and you’re still one of the reasons i have to keep going. one of a kind, i swear. fuck you for the way you treat me but thank you as well because hey i wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you g?

i thought you were my person i thought that maybe over time i’d also be yours but i never did become your person, i never became the person you found peace in, the person you look for in a crowded room, the person you think about when someone talks about a person they love like you did for me. i sometimes feel like we could have been soulmates but we’re the type of soulmates who aren’t meant to be. when i was younger i always thought first loves would be the ones that are perfect and romantic and that you’d get together with your first love then eventually you’d break up and then you’d find each other again and get back together in a decades time but thats not what it is, maybe we will cross paths again in the future and be what i thought we were going to be. poems, i could still write so many poems about you. you’re still the light at the end of the tunnel and you’re still one of the reasons i have to keep going. one of a kind, i swear. fuck you for the way you treat me but thank you as well because hey i wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you g?

sometimes when it rains i think of you, my love for you was dark and gloomy but i found peace in that and maybe thats why i like the rain :)

love... a word that always brings me back to you, my mind always finds its way to you when i hear that word. i love the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you love, how they brighten and your smile grows and how you can hear the excitement in your voice. whenever im around you i still can’t help but smile, to this day you still bring me peace like you have these past couple of years. i can find beauty in every piece of you, even if i don’t love you like that, i still love you. more than anything. i like to lay there and listen to all the songs that always bring me back to you somehow. you’ve taught me what love isn’t but also what it is. sometimes being around you makes me feel like the world isn’t as evil as i think it is. your laugh is something i love to hear especially when its me who makes you laugh.
from time to time i do wish things were in different in some way, what if we weren’t ever friends, would i even be here still? what if i never fell in love you, would i still be here? and to put it simply, no. you don’t see it but i genuinely would not be here if i hadn’t have loved you like i did. you were a reason to live, in fact you ARE a reason to live still. sometimes looking into your eyes take me back to when i was so blind and naive, i like that feeling. its an odd feeling but i like it, your eyes are such a beautiful colour of brown, chocolatey in a way, in the sun they light up and they just look so pretty. brown eyes are so boring unless they’re yours. yours look different. your hair is fluffy, fluffy like how i imagined our love would have been but it was like shattered glass, glass that you have to step across with your bare feet but with a twist, the pain hurts but you enjoy it. thats what it was like to love you that deeply. you’re special, so fucking special to me man. i’ve moved on right, so why do when i get a notification part of me still hopes its you. tears are still shed for you but these tears feel like the tears i cried when i first loved you. not the sour tears i cried back in january and february. part of me still hopes we’ll live like the story i always imagined we would in my head but sometimes happy endings aren't a thing. maybe in another life, maybe we’ll be what i always wished for us to be

I wish you loved me the way I loved you. And although you hurt me, im hurting more not being with you.

you’ll never know how much you hurt me. i didn’t deserve what you put me through and we both know that. there’s so much i would like to say but i will never say it. i wish i could’ve gotten the closure i deserved. but i cannot let you occupy this space in my mind anymore. it’s humiliating how much i am still hurt by you. it’s been too long. goodbye.

Ojalá hagas de tu vida un lugar agradable donde estar (incluso tú mismo) - te quiero como el primer día, el dolor que acumulas se suma al mío y me rompo un poco más. Que 2021 sólo te traiga cosas buenas, hubiera dado lo que fuera por estar siempre aquí.
A

I love you. You're my music. You're my everything. I'll wait for you every day I live. You are my forever and always.

to my favourite white boy,
i hope you will never leave because you’re like a magnet for me. i love you.

Its the fact that you left when i realized and knew i loved you that hurt me. And You said "i love you" first to me BUT left so easily...i truly think you didnt know the actual STRENGTH of those words bc i was ur first gf :/ very sad but im happy now

Thank you for coming into my life, it kills me that you feel distant more now. Can things go back to normal?

I don’t know why I liked you so much. I wanted to figure that out with a little bit of your help. I was kind of hoping you would have texted me after I gave you that note.

you have to be my soulmate. you just have to. it can't be someone else. it has to be you. please just let it be you

You make me strive to be a better person for not only you but myself, but apart of me is still scared you'll leave like everyone else.

I can tell you're not okay. i want to help but you won't let me. i love you so much. i really hope this isnt all my fault. i know i kinda led you on and im sorry. i miss building the melon house

I loved you more than life itself you didn’t understand the amount of love I had and will have for u forever and always

although we didn’t work out our connection was like no other and i wish to be with you in another life