Unsent messages to NICOLE

Thank you for being here for me now.

Your far too sweet for your own good, i love you ♡

hi ! i like you and i think that won't change for a while

you’re the tear hanging inside my soul forever.

Apart of me is still with you and you took her away.

I miss who we used to be

i hope cheating on me was worth it

I wish you were here.

I'm still missing you but I know it was the best for you

I've been drinking too much. But being sober allows me to look at my life and see our memories. I don't want to let you go, but you told me this what you wanted.

I'm sorry.
You deserve so much better than what I could ever give you.
You deserve the world, don't let yourself think otherwise.

Te recuerdo cada noche, y no paro de pensar en como eh sobrevivido tanto tiempo lejos de tí, me duele en el alma tener que pasar experiencias nuevas, tanto buenas como malas y no tenerte a mi lado para tomarte de la mano, te amo y te amaré siempre, aunque tu no puedas estar aquí, viviré por tí ya que tú moriste por mí.

I think about you every day, every day I think about how much of a bad friend I was but I would do any and I mean anything just to go back to when we were friends. I wish I had the courage to apologize to you for everything. I miss you and ily from ex best friend

sometimes i wonder what could’ve been, had i not been a coward. it’s funny- they always say there’s that one person who you will always keep in the back of your mind. you’re so mysterious, and i think that’s what drew me in. 10 years of knowing you and i barely know a thing about you. i guess that’s how things are bound to stay between us, and that’s okay. i hope you can come to terms with who you are and find somebody to make you happy. until then, i’m sorry for whatever i did (or didn’t do) to make us grow apart.

I fucking hate you. You may be the most self centered, conceited person I’ve ever met. You will probably be the worst person I will meet in my life. I hope the future only holds bad things for you.

we were friends for a long time. our friendship was great. but then things started to break. i lost myself. it was a joke, until it wasn’t. wanting to end it lingered in my head. but we drifted and i think it made us stronger. it hurts to see our friendship not as strong as it was before. but i’m glad we still stay in touch. i’m glad we made up and know better now. let’s catch up sometime :)

i regret chasing you. if only you could have stopped using me knowing that i would do anything for you

I’m incredibly in love with you, even though it looks like I’m not I think you’re worth the world and I need you.

you've hurt me the most but you've loved me the most. you think ill always put up with you, and I do.

it makes me sad knowing we’ll never be as close as we used to be but i’m so glad to have had you as a friend. i wish so much happiness for you.

the baby blue reminds me of you and your eyes that i haven’t actually seen yet, but the yellow fits how you make me feel more so. i really like you. i could make this all poetic but whatever. i wish i could be next to you.

You are who I hate most in this world. You have both directly and indirectly caused enormous amounts of pain to so many people - pain that will last longer than a lifetime. You caused someone to leave this world and I hate you for it. I hate you for who you are and who you were. And I sincerely hope I never get to know who you become.

hey, i don't know if i did smth wrong but just know that if u don't want to be friends with me anymore. It's okay just do what makes u happy just don't give up. Love u, your best friend

I would still drop everything in an instant for you if you asked me to, and I don't think that will ever change.

Our friendship is mentally suffocating me. My life can’t all be about you please understand that I have my moments too. That I get sad and I feel insecure. I can’t keep pretending to be strong for you.

It was hard to let you go but you are better without me. I know that you don't see it that way now but trust me when I tell you that you don't need me. Just live life and I hope you remember the time we spent together because it meant the world to me but its time for both of us to let go.

I still can’t listen to solo dance, I blast Taylor swift songs like your still with me, you broke my heart

It's kinda unfair how I fell for you so fucking fast but you obviously don't love me that way and only think of me as a best friend. But maybe I fell for the wrong person again

i used to think i was the problem, but after all this time, i've realized it's you. i just can't believe it took me this long to see it.

I'm moving on and I feel so much better, even if we go our separate ways, you'll always have a small piece of my heart with you, thank you for allowing me to love you with everything i had.

you are an angel on earth! although our friendship only extends through socials (for now) you brighten up my day. you are a beautiful example of a kind human

I truly believe we're platonic soulmates. You're my best friend. My sister. My other half. My favourite person. I can't imagine my life without you. I'd be completely lost. You're the reason I'm still here. Thank you for everything. I love you too much

Honestly, I gotta be honest. I was a lonely kid. I cried every day and was bullied. I felt lost and sad. Once I met you I knew you were never going to leave me. But you know the old happy Becca? she's dead inside now. She's too scared of everyone and overthinks. She isn't straight anymore and is crying every single day and wants to take her life. I just want to say thank you for being here while I'm alive lol. Ilysm and am so proud of you. I promise I am.

im so glad after all we became friends, i feel stronger when you are by me side. Please come back so we can go to eat waffles

Joe, I don’t know how you could even be my first love and there is so many things i could say. But to be short, fuck you and fuck you for taking my virginity knowing it meant something to me. then cheating on me only 4 days later. thanks your an asshole drug addict. but i somehow miss you.

nikdy jsem si nemyslela ze nad tebou budu az takhle moc premyslet, uprimne ted u toho hrozne brecim a nikdy jsem necekala ze se stane to co se stalo, mela jsem tebe celyho, potom min, pak malej kousek tebe a potom nic, ztratila jsem jak svyho nejlepsiho kamarada tak i svoji soulmate, myslela jsem ze spolu vydrzime a jenom s tebou jsem si predstavovala budoucnost, chybis mi a myslim ze tohle vsechno co se kolem me deje, jsou nejaky znameni, nevim proc jsem nad tebou zacala premyslet az po 3 mesicich ale porad v sobe nejakej kousek lasky pro tebe mam, nechci te zpatky ale miluju te... myslim ze ty ke mne taky porad neco malo citis, tvoje oci, vzdycky jsi na me koukal jak kdybych byla ta nejkrasnejsi holka kterou znas, choval jsi se ke mne hrozne, uvedomil sis to a omluvil jsi se ale to nic nemeni na tom jak moc jsi mi ublizil, mozna mi nechybis ty ale jenom ten pocit, ty lzi, vsem rikam ze nad tebou nepremyslim a delam frajerku jak moc jsem na tebe zapomnela ale... ve skutecnosti to jenom nechci priznat, nevim co se to kolem me deje, jsem z toho vseho tak nejak v prdeli a nevim co mam delat, hrozne moc bych si prala aby jsi mi z niceho nic zavolal a zeptal by jsi se jak se mam, ze ti chybim i potom vsem, asi jsem naivni kdyz se preju aby se tohle stalo ale i tak je to moje tajny prani, chtela bych to vratit a udelat nejaky veci jinak, nelituju toho ze jsi byl ten prvni se kterym jsem si dala pusu z pravy lasky, spis me mrzi to, ze to skoncilo takhle rychle ani jsem si ten mesic moc neuzila, byl jsi hrozne zarlivej ale uvedomuju si ze jsi me asi fakt miloval, taky jsem te milovala a jeste miluju ale ty uz hledas jinou, az pozdeji zjistis ze nenajdes zadnou jako jsem byla ja, musim ti chybet aspon trosku, jsem zvedava na silvestra, co se stane a jestli vubec prijedes, zajima me budoucnost vic nez kdy jindy uprimne, ani nevim proc, mozna protoze jsem zvedava jestli se odhodlas mi napsat nebo dokonce zavolat a nebo mi neco rict mezi ctyrma ocima, jsou to asi jen lzi ktery si nalhavam ale furt o tom premyslim a zase samu sebe ztracim, i kdyz to nedavam najevo a pravdepodobne to na mne nepozna ani moje mama, prijde mi, ze od doby co jsem ztratila tebe, ztracim dalsich vic a vic lidi, tesim se az si na tohle vzpomenu za par let a s kym vubec za par let budu, s kym budu mit deti, s kym budu mit velkej barak a auto, s kym budeme ta stastna rodinka, mozna s tebou? a prave proto bych chtela vedet budoucnosti vic nez kdy jindy, zivot je jenom prekvapeni a od ty doby co jsi odesel ty tak to jde vsechno z kopce a ani nevim proc si to uvedomuju cim dal tim vic a vic, nevim proc az ted, doted jsem byla v pohode a asi pred tyden to zacalo, kazdym dnem co ubehne to boli vic a vic, s tebou jsem vzdycky mluvila o vsem, doslova o vsem a by jsi clovek kterymu jsem verila vic nez komukoliv jinymu, hrozne rychle jsem se na tebe upnula, uplne me to stve, preju si aby leto zacalo znova a my by jsme spolu nechodili, aspon bych s tebou neztratila kontakt a neztratila bych kvuli tobe dalsi lidi ktery pro me hodne znamenali, prala bych si abych byla ta tvoje vysnena holka, ta barbie kterou si si vzdycky pral, chtela bych ti byt dobra a chtela jsem aby jsi me mel rad tak jako ja mela rada tebe, jenze asi nejsem o dva roky starsi, nizsi, hezci, chytrejsi, prcatelnejsi, a nevim co jeste, chci, aby jsi trpel jako jsem trpela ja, jenom aby sis to zkusil protoze je to horsi nez cokoliv, kdyz ti odejde clovek kterymu si veril, vis v cem jsme rozdilny? v tom ze ja ti verila, ty ne a vymlouval jsi se na to ze mas trust issues kvuli holce co ti ublizila a SLIBILI JSME SI NA MALICKY ZE SI NEUBLIZIME.

I love you so much it hurts. it hurts to see u getting older without me. it's always you and me, but you're leaving. I don't wanna tell you this but I'm not going to hold you back. ever.

te odio por todo lo que me hiciste, eres una hipócrita, ni una disculpa recibí de tu parte, pase una semana llorando y todo gracias a ti.

i wish you the best and it upsets me so much that you go through the amount you do, i still care about you so much and have so much love for you

I think about you all the time and I hate it. I've tried so hard to forget about it but I can't. fuck you

take good care of my baby and never let go. i know it hurts me so much to see you with him but as long as he’s happy i’m happy. i’m slowly giving up with the fighting because i see he’s slowly but surly getting tired of me. i just miss him and i’m sorry. take good care of him and always be there for him no matter what. let him open up to you because his life is knit perfect and remember not to judge. love him endlessly like i loved him and never let go or give up like i did because you’ll regret it so much.

I’m alive because of you I love everything about you please don’t ever leave me I need you in my life so badly I love you

You're falling for me, i just cant, i really want to love you how you deserve it but i just closed myself from feeling anything and you are not the exception, im going to break your heart and im sorry

we really sucked at communication. and im sorry i never gave enough, i dont know how. you did nothing wrong.

I´m afraid of losing you. Sometimes I feel I love you more than you do love me. I don´t know what happens with me, I don´t feel like it´s alright to be with you. But I fkn love you and I want to be you girlfriend still. I just don´t know why I think that you will fall in love with someone else and my heart will be broken. I trust you. Idk, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Please, don´t leave me, don´t make me die in that way. I love you Nicole, I think you are my first love. Am I yours?

I really want to be your dream girlfriend. I love you baby, I fkn love you. I know you could be with somebody better than me, but im giving my best. I love you sweetie, with all my life.

I hate myself because I love you but I couldn´t help cheating on you.
I am young and I will always love you. I am idiot. I feel guilty, but i´m trying to get over it. I love you, i really love you.

Whatever is holding you back I know there’s something between us. Please tell me what it is because I’m going crazy about you

Are you the Nicole I’m thinking about? My memory is at a horrible state rn. You don’t have to be so mean

fuck you, you are one of the worst friends i’ve had. you made me feel left out and you’re such a bitch for no reason