I think you were my first friend in high school and I thank you for the good times. I don't hate you, but I hope that everything you wish for me, whether good or bad, will be tripled; if I were given the opportunity to change something in my life it would be to never trust you again.

I still miss you... may have been three years since you died, bit it doesn't stop hurting. Maybe you thought you did things wrong and that's why you did what you did... but after all I forgive you, I would always forgive you, no matter what you did, I was going to forgive you.

"It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake." This is the one lyric that reminds me of you. I don't understand why I feel that way, I have moved on but I think the fact you moved on so quickly and to the girl that you knew would hurt me the most. It made me feel like you never loved me which hurts because although neither of us feel that way now, it would break past me's heart because I did love you. I may not have loved you how I will truly love someone in the future but it was love for what I knew it to be. You have every right to be with her and in no way do I want to stop you but for some reason, it still hurts.

I won't lie though, I may not miss you but I do however miss the days we spent together doing nothing, or the facetime calls, or even just you putting up with me. I know I annoyed you sometimes when I made a comment or just a joke that was too far but it meant so much to me that you put up with it. It made me feel wanted and that you were willing to do that for me.

Although I do get mad sometimes because it wasn't all good memories. We argued, I annoyed and you manipulated and controlled me a bit too much at times. I know you were only controlling because you cared and were worried but you knew how much I valued my independence so you should've stopped when I said. Same with the manipulation, I commented on it too many times, I do know sometimes it wasn't intentional but that doesn't excuse it.

Anyway, I don't really know the point of this. I think it's just to get it all off my chest. Maybe to finally say goodbye, because although I've moved on you were still a big part of my life, and neither of us can deny it, you can't erase a year. Finally, I want to say that I know that right now may not be the best time for us to be friends but I hope one day soon we can because both before and after our relationship I cared and enjoyed you as a person and friend, and I still do. So I guess this is it? One final hoorah, one final bon voyage, a final goodbye...

the flashbacks are here again, ur the only person who knew how to help me. i miss that comfort.

please just move on, have a happy life and try not to do anything stupid.

I always go back to our spot and eat your favorite ice cream just to remember.