I’m telling my friends I’m over you, but deep down I don’t think I am. I know need to let go so who cares whether I still love you or not, you’ve moved on and someday on my own pace I’ll move on too. And if I don’t, I have accepted that it’s over and that you aren’t the same guy I fell in love with. Goodbye and thanks for the memories tho, you stopped fighting for me and I stopped fighting for you, guess it just wasn’t meant to be after all, the world was against us and well it did what it had to, right? Idk whether I hate you or am just mad at you

I’m just lying to myself at this point, wasn’t 1 year from now the last time we saw each other. I’d do anything for that last kiss again.

I still have this love for you, I’ve managed accepting it’s over and have tried to make myself happy but I still miss you, I might have to accept imma always love you and accept how to deal with it

Idk why I still write these, ig it's a way to express what I feel to you without saying it directly to you, idk and idc, but just one kiss just one last hug one last final goodbye is what I've wanted, I still break down most nights when thinking about the memories, the way you used to look at me, all the weird nicknames and jokes and late night messages and calls especially the ones till 6 am, I just can't let it go, idk what I would do if I saw you rn, maybe freeze? Slap you? Kiss you? Idk hearing or reading your name gives me this anxiety or sadness and I try to avoid it but I still get reminded of you by the smallest things, someone told me "it's because of the amount of time you spent loving him that you still feel that way toward him" And yeah I fell for you twice as hard in 7 months and something in me still wants to give excuses for you and still wants to chase you but I know it hurts me more, and stop calling me if you aren't gonna tell me why you called, I get it if it's an accident and shit idk why you still have my number saved, might as well delete that shit. Cuz I hate seeing the picture I have on the profile but I can't bring myself to delete the number, I can't bring myself to throw the gifts or give them away, I can't bring myself to delete the pictures of you and I and the day we last saw each other, I'm a mess rn, I have a guy who won't stop asking for nudes and makes me feel bad for it but he has a gf and I won't give in but he seems bothered by that, it makes me feel like a slut, it's all guys care about. I mean look what you did to me, I still feel a guilt and regret for it and it's affecting me really bad at times,
Idk whether I'm getting better or worse sometimes. Lol I'm crying rn writing this, I still love you and I hate it, you didn't say anything you knew how hurt how broken I felt and you just stopped talking to me, made me realize you just don't give shit about me, but I still care about you and want you and I'm trying I really am, I'm trying to make myself fall or someone else I'm trying to forget you but I can't I could find someone who would love me and stick by my side but I still chose you idk why, i can't see you the same way tho, i used to see you as someone who wouldn't hurt me and you hurt me most than anyone. I can't get over you and I'm changing as time goes

Our chapter is closed, is it weird I’d run back to it? Or try again? I wish you the best, I’m still hurting, I’m still in love but it’s over and I don’t think the chapters that are closed will ever write another story

I’m in a relationship..I did it, kinda not really, I like this guy I do but why the hell do you still have my heart, Its a good distraction but I don’t want it to just be a distraction I want to actually fall in love with this guy and move on from you but I still keep the cute photos and the gifts and whenever he says something sweet I think of what you used to say. It’s weird to say I still love you even if I’m with this guy, it probably wasn’t the best idea but hey I like him so...idk what would happen if you came back into my life

How did you get over us so easily, how were you able to move on, I can’t do this without thinking of you, he’s a good guy, but you..you were my everything

I think imma break up with him, I can’t do this not with you on my mind, every sweet words, every laugh every joke every romantic thing, you pop up, I hate it, I can’t let you go idk why I still believe in you. My friends tell me you’ve probably moved on by now and don’t care and I should to but even if you’ve moved on I still 100% love you. I want to hold you and hear your voice and see you and tell you I love you, I messed up and I hate myself for it and can’t forgive myself, cuz I loved you more than I loved myself, I was crazily, truly, insanely, dangerously in love with you. Every love song every heart break song reminds me of you. I miss you a lot and I still love you, but you didn’t love me