Unsent messages to HUGH

Everytime I saw a video or picture of a couple I imagined doing that with you. We were so close yet so far

i dont even know where to start, i guess just that you made me feel safe and even though i knew you were going to leave you said things that made me believe you were staying. i know it was only brief but i had never felt what i did for you. i dont just blame you for what you did, i blame our friend, if she had been there for either of us i dont think it would have ended the way it did, but i guess thats just how the world works. i hope it was easy for you to just stop talking to me one day cus i hurt for the both of us. do you even think about me? cus you are constantly on my mind, and i know you dont even deserve a second of my time or a single tear but ive never felt pain like this.

i know you'll never see this, but i'm treating this as a final goodbye. our brief romance feels like a fever dream now. i can't believe that i fell in love with you, a love so vivid and childish at that. i've moved onto other things. i guess you could say i'm an artist now. i came out over the summer. i write about the big beautiful world around me. i sincerely hope that life is treating you well. you deserve to fall in love with someone that'll make the world bright and cheerful. i will never forget when i saw you happy. your laugh, your smile, it was all amazing, and i miss it so much. well, i don't know what else to say. this is goodbye for now, most likely forever. i know this is a stupid message, but i finally need to let go for good. sincerely, street oven (remember that stupid nickname you gave me? yeah)

Welp, I don’t know what to do. It’s just awkward that you’re a sophomore and I’m a junior. We’re the same age but it’s still weird. Through all my experiences I realized that I hate things being approached sexually. I much rather just not have any fear of anything of that sort happening. I kind of wish u didn’t say anything about kissing. That was a giant push back. I’m also annoyed that my friendship was seen as a romantic action. It’s just kind of annoying and I wish things were different. I also feel horrible saying no, and I don’t know how to set the correct boundary.

i really thought i loved you. well you know what? fuck you. fuck the second chance. fuck you and zoe. have fun with her, babes. i hope you treat her better than you EVER treated me. i say all this, but i know if you ever want a third chance ill come running back. but for now? good fucking riddance.

i just want to let you know, before i say goodbye, that i am so so so proud of you. i know my words can not change your mind or mental state, like i have tried so many times in the past. i just want you to know that i am always here for you, even on your darkest of days when youre in the darkest of places.
i love you
b xx

i love you, well i thought i did, until i realised that i was in love with the idea of you, of becoming a part of your family. so now i will say, i loved you hugh
you werent worth the tears but you were worth the memories
love from B xx

i didnt realise it at the time, but loving you was just a lie, covering up the little amount i loved myself. but you supported it? you accepted my love when you knew i left nothing for myself. you know im a giver, not a reciever. how could you let me do such things?
love always, B xx

it was good till it wasn’t we should’ve just let the good memories be instead of trying too hard and creating bad ones, you’re a fucking ass hole now to me but i’d still take you back in a way, you are my grey

You will forever be summer to me. Young and free tanned, healthy. in love. As soon as the weather changed so did you. Our love died like the leaves and our conversations shortened in tune with days. I love you.

all i wanted was for you to love me back but you continued to break my heart all the while i kept falling in love with you

We were too kind with each other. I know you meant well - but you still did the wrong thing. So did I. I hope one day we can forgive each other, but I never want you in my life again.