Unsent messages to HOLDEN

why didn't you protect me?

i’m like really glad we met. i really like you.

meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me

i miss you every day. you’ll always have a special place in my life & i really thought we would make something great. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. stay golden

dear holden , when i first met you i tried my hardest not to like you because i knew it was wrong of me to like my friends ex . But , i couldn’t help it .You’re like the nicest person ever . And when we were together you always treated me good and i felt like you would never hurt me. Little did i know you would ghost me and leave me like nothing happened . And i tried so hard to think of an excuse for you . i thought maybe you would have a explanation. As the weeks go by i keep thinking your gonna come back to me .But deep down inside i know that it’s over . I’ve been trying to get over you but it’s really hard . That’s all i have to say . I love you .

im sure she's beautiful. im sure shes graceful, polite, and sweet. but i love you. i have always loved you. but how could you love me? why would anyone love me? i just needed it to be you. but it was always her.

Why did it have to be her? You knew I already compared myself to her. You knew that she was in love with you and that I knew that. So why’d it have to be Olivia?

I love you. So much more than you will ever know. But what I don’t understand is how you can continuously hurt me when you say you love me. We have been together a year and I still shake when you raise your hand too fast or when you touch me a certain way. You said you never meant to hurt me but then you did it, again and again. I should’ve left but I’m so in love with you that I’m willing to stay even if it means losing myself

for the first time in a long time, you made me feel. you made me feel something. i wish i knew you were okay. come back to me, i love you.

Through all the friends that left me, you were the one that always stuck around and I honestly don’t deserve a friend like you. Here’s to more iced coffee trips hoe

We were meant to find each other eventually. I loved knowing you in past lives, and in this one, and in the next.

I loved you. You were my person, and you left me. You made a fool of me and treated me like shit. I will always love you though

Thank you for being such a good first boyfriend. I couldn't have asked for someone better and I'm sorry for taking you for granted.

I still think about you and sometimes I want you back. I should have been a better girlfriend, sorry.

You're a soft lover; a good friend. I appreciated your sweetness and big smile more than I let on. I can't get this shade of blue out of my head.

dear holden. hi, its me. the girl whose heart you broke. i think if i was more mature, we would have lasted, but i dont that we would of lasted. you cheated on me, you liked my (then) best friend and you made me feel worthless all together. just know, i love you.

people don't look at people the way u look at me. I think that why u hurt so much, bc u looked at me like I was more than.

Thank you for helping me realize my worth. I'm sorry I broke things off with you, I just needed my own time to focus on myself.

you make me so happy, i honestly cant explain how much you have changed me. Youre probably the only reason im here right now. Ever since i met you i knew that you were my person. I just relized that i'm not your person. You'd rather be looking at a prettier, and sweeter girl than me. Which i understand.

i dreamt about you last night. we were talking, eating, and laughing. i was happy. i haven't felt that happy in five years. i was just staring at you and you'd catch me and stare back. and we sat there in silence absorbed in each other. it baffles me it's been three years since we had a conversation. i miss you. i miss the way you used to make me laugh in fourth period. i miss the way you made me smile just by looking at me. i miss the way you used to tell me sweet nothings. i miss the way you lit up a room with your laughter. i miss everything about you. from the that's what she said jokes to complaining about algebra. i remember being in algebra when you said i was the smartest girl you knew. i just stared at you because there were smarter girls than me in class. but the look in your eyes and the smile you gave me made me believe you. i remember just smiling at myself for the remainder of class. and you noticed. you said i had a pretty smile. i was so naive back then. i never realized how strong my feelings for you were. i thought it was just a crush. please talk to me. even if it's about football and how bad you guys are. just talk to me. i miss you.

while it seemed i was falling more in love by the day you were slowly falling out and i failed to realize

i can't begin to explain what we were. summer fling? a lesson? a regret? i don't know, but i'll never forget.

i can't get over the fact that you lied the first time but i also love you so much that i can't stop thinking about life without you.

at first i missed you so much, then I grew to resent you, but now your just a memory and I think its for the best (for both of us)

I remember all of our firsts. First date. First hug. First Kiss. First everything. I hope that one day we can meet again and lived the way we wanted to. I hope you remember all our firsts like I do. I hope you cherish them like I do. I love you.