No where else to go to vent here I am. Are you (my future self) going to remember this little vent letter in several years or am I going to kill myself then? I just wish I can see the light at the end of the small tunnel I'm in. Kylie seems so hopeful that I am. I keep hitting a new low. I just don't know what to do. I'm a lazy piece of shit like mom says I am. I just wish I can correct the shit I made in the past, but I know I can't. I need my head out of my fantasies.