to the love of my life... god. where do i start? i am beyond filled with anxiety. scared. i really want out of these circumstances and the ability to actually fully enjoy the limited time we have—you know i’ve always said that this life isn’t long enough. nor is the next or the next. eternity isn’t long enough and holding you isn’t close enough. and really, i do mean it. please believe me. please let me believe you. make me. i know you’re handling it the best you can but that scares me too. im worried you’re not as invested. it gets hard to breathe under the weight of my obsession with you and the easier solution in my mind is to receive obsession back. sick, isn’t it? i’ve been sick other ways but this is the nicest. i would do anything for you... and i’m not scared of that. is there a character count limit on this thing? whatever. it doesn’t matter. i know you probably are just learning to love. that’s okay... please only learn on me. i admire so much about you from the way you care about me to the way you speak of what you’re passionate about (i mean it.. i’m sorry for making fun of the haken albums) to your knowledge in all sorts of things to... i could go on. you’re really kind and bright and helpful and unassuming: you’re purer than most people. i don’t know why or how. you just are. you have a simplicity i crave without laying down your intelligence and there’s some things you didn’t know that i wish i didn’t have to know. i think your purity is part of why it’s so easy for me to be jealous. i am jealous, i want more of your time in this horribly short life than i could express. you can be more jealous with me too yanno.... i meant it when i said that too. and PLEASE be more verbal.. i want to feel. you’re my perfect soft avocado even though we don’t like avocados !!! also are lotuses still your favorite flower ?

i would follow you anywhere with no hesitation. you are my everything and all the universes, i think if the stars had a closer look at you they’d cry.

i can hear you saying something like ‘no, i’d die from the massively high temperatures before they got that close’
let me have my moment !!! shh.

newly 18 looks wonderful on you by the way

everything will be okay. i can’t wait to have your babies
and you know what? i don’t care if all these people see it. I LOVE YOU
to the starts and back

love

your ******* :’)