I went through the worst hour of my life right now. I just finished my first semester of college with a perfect gpa. I honestly had everything, even made deans list. But I pushed away my bestfriends, broke up with my boyfriend and was doing so well. But in this past hour I sat here and gave up. If I was someone else watching like a fly on the wall I wouldn't even be able to watch. A girl who worked her ass off to get where she is shuts down and breaks down. I really felt like giving up. But I'm not gonna let myself do that. I have so much more in me to give even if I can't see it right now. There are so many people in this world who may care about me even though I don't know it. I promise you I won't give up. Let people come in an out of my life but I'm going to keep pushing myself no matter what. I can do more, I am worth more.

Please don't break it. Keep it forever, carefully wrapped in your pocket. Close to you at all times. Forever. Don't ever let go. It was meant to be yours. Despite the pain it will cause me to lose it. It always goes to somebody. Whether it's a small shard that gets caught in the crossfire. Or a whole piece that I tore out of myself and forced you to keep. Please protect it. My heart can only take so much.

I'll be patient because I know life will get you in my way. So I'll wait for you, I'm absolutely waiting for your arrival.

Or Scott, or Leo, or whatever fucking name you wanna put on. Can you at least acknowledge that you were in the wrong all these times? I want so desperately to change but after all these years you're still the same.