Unsent messages to BUB

I never lied to you

I hope youre doing great.I hope we cross paths again :)) congrats btw.

Lied about what?

Not glad you left but im thankful that you never came back.
Im happy now.
I wish the same for you

everyday I choose u

our love should not be a secret
all i want is to tell the world about my love for you

you lied to me. you hurt me more than you would ever know and i hate you for it.

Please reach out to me

How are you bub? I miss you. Be safe and stay healthy, okay?

i miss you more </3

i miss you :,(

i love you and i want to be with you but i want for you to be happy more and so ill live without you so that you can live happy

the terrible thing is that i don’t hate you. i still want only the best for you.. even though you broke me.

it's officially been over 100 days since we broke up. i know i'm better off without you and that breaking up was the right decision. but why does it still hurt like it's day 1?

i don't miss you. i miss what we had and who you used to be, because i look at you now and just wonder what moment it was that my person just stopped existing. so yes, i miss "you" but i don't like let alone miss the person you have become.

i've always loved love, but you make me never want to give a fuck about another person ever again. if "love" is what you showed me, then i don't want it.

hey bug. i havent visited your grave in a while. i miss you. i miss your smile. i miss the way you would hug me when i saw you. i miss the way you would make me smile. i miss your laugh. you were my everything. then you left. without telling me a goodbye except for a letter. a letter where i cried over it for hours wishing it was a dream. i made you a promise to live the life you couldnt and i dont know if i can do it anymore, i dont want to be here anymore. i want to be with you bug. i miss my boy. my sweet boy. im not doing okay anymore without you. i know its been six years but still. i didnt know it then but i do now. i love you. i need you here. just wake me up please. i miss you

you mean so much to me i can't think of the world without you in it. i love you, i know we're young but i do.

Hey, it's been a while. I mean since we talked like this, I just texted you last week about school stuff. I think we're okay now. God, there's just a million and one things I've always wanted to say, to tell you, I don't even know where to start. Maybe I should start off by saying I understand now. I understand why you pulled back your emotions. You went through something that was so emotionally draining, it scared you to ever open up again, to ever show your vulnerability... even if it meant pulling away from me. And I wasn't there like I said I would be. I'm sorry. You just needed to know someone was there and I told you I needed space. After everything, the fights, the bad nights, the sour relationship we created afterwards when we started craving each other again - after everything... I still think we met at the wrong time. It's how I cope, a tiny part of me still thinks you'll come back one day but I no longer hold on to the thought as hard. You remember the bridge I always told you about? The one I always envisioned that connected us, I'm back on my side. We're staring at each other from the long way across the bridge but we're in two seperate places now. And I no longer think that's a bad thing. A part of my heart will always be reserved for you. You were my first love. My first. I was so in love with you - every detail of you. The way your eyes light up when you talk about something you're passionate about. The way you try to hide the pain from me when you talk about something serious. The way you smile and your dimples show. The stupid faces you make when you tried to make me laugh. The way that you cared so much. My only regret that I'll never admit out loud is that I wish I enjoyed it more. I wish I wasn't so worried about the future that I could just enjoy the bliss of the moment I was in with you. It was fun while it lasted. I still wish I could have this deep conversation, real closure, put everything out, accept for what it is and move on with our lives. But I know that's not something you'd ever want to do. You can tell me a million escuses why but I know you well enough to know it's because you don't want to show me what's inside anymore, you're scared to get hurt again. I'm not angry about it anymore. I'm not hurt. I always wanted to feel that happiness again with you. But I finally found a happiness in myself. It took a little over a year but I'm here. I found happiness in myself, my friends, my family, my life. It's been so long since I've been happy and it's an overwhelming feeling but it's a good one. I wanted so much but I've learned to accept that just isn't how the universe works. I still wonder what you're thinking every now and then but I've accept that I'll never truly know, and that's okay. Thank you. For the good, bad and the ugly. Thank you for being such an important person in my life at one point. I will always wish you the best and I've always told you this but I know you're gonna do big things. I don't care so much what you do anymore, who you fall in love with next, I just wish the universe bless you with happiness. Real and true happiness. The young, dumb, and in love type of happiness but for you and yourself. I loved you Kavin. Thank you. This is me letting go. It took so long but I think I'm ready. Good bye bub, I wish you well.

With care and support from a distance,

Monkey.

You were the most innocent and caring person that I had ever known, and I sometimes fear that I changed you in the worst ways possible. I was there for you, yes, but I sometimes felt like you were being influenced negatively. I wish we could have continued our relationship, I really do think that at one point I loved you. But I still don't know what love is, so I guess I'll just keep typing until I run out of things to say. I hope everything is okay, I think about you a lot.

sometimes i still have dreams that it works out and everything is okay, then i wake up and cry about it... its been 4 yrs.

I wish I would've known that you still loved me. I hope you aren't lying. I hope. I don't think I can live without you. Too much has happened to forget you.

I still miss you so much, even though you've moved on. Thank you for making me happy even if it was for a little while. Yes you hurt me but still, I wish you the best and I hope you're happy.

i wish i would have kissed u longer last time. i wish i would have cherished waking up next to you. i love u but i’ll never tell u that

you loved all the things i hated about myself, and i love what you love. Then you left and i started to hate those things again.

what you did was sexual harassment and assault. I ignored it because I loved you. I wish I didn’t. I miss who I was.

when you asked me if I hated you I said no because I didn’t want to hate you, now I realize that I do.

I don’t hate you but I can now say I finally let you go and im trying to move on and be happy again without you.

i wish i could ask you how your day was. I wish i could tell you i love you every day again. But we'll never be like that again.

I would love for me to hear you call me 'bub' again. Until then, i wish you nothing but the best. I love you.