i stopped looking at your insta. i stopped wondering how you’re doing. i finally moved on. the only thing i miss is the friendship we had. i wish we had never been more than just friends.

Maybe one day, Forrest will tell you about this, though I'm not sure she will. But if she does, heh, hey, it's been awhile, here in a few days, to be exact 5 days, we would have hit one year. Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Brady, you meant everything to me and i was too selfish to want to give you up. If anything, I cared more about myself than your happiness because I thought I could be your happiness. I thought I could fix everything by fighting, and to be honest I can't. I don't know how to love someone. I know how to love and support Forrsst but that's because I've been her friend since she first found out about my existence in her mind. But, I want you to know, I love you, I really do, and I hope you'll find happiness in Kaytie, and I hope she's the best person for you. I won't be coming back, not for a long time, I can't handle what I did, and I don't think i want to. I hope I can just forget you and everything we went through. And I hope you'll forget me, because honestly, I'm not worth thinking about. So if you see this Brady Ray, good luck in the world and I'll see ya when I see you again, maybe then we'll have our happy ending, who knows? Maybe I have to wait until Forrest finds the perfect one for all of us. I'm not sure. But, if you ever wanna talk to me, I'm here for ya. You know that, or well you should.

With love,

Ashie

we stargazed together now i’m in love with you. i think about you all the time and i know you do too. why don’t we text each other?

you are the only boy i see. the only one i look for. the only one i adore. i wish i could make you see that.

sometimes I wonder how I am still in love with you, after all this time, after everything. i wonder what our future is, because every time we look at each other, we cannot keep acting like there isn’t something. its alright, i just think of you all day.

hi. i don't know what to say except that i think i may be falling for you. im so scared to though, because the moment those words leave my mouth, this becomes way more real. and it will hurt the moment you have to leave

I knew it wasn’t gonna work, but i held on. I was young but had my heart set on you. I was ready. Seeing you with her really hurt though it had no reason to. we were never going to be together.

i just wanna let go. i wanna let go of you. i wanna be happy. but i am so scared to accept our fate as strangers. certain words remind me of you. certain songs remind me of you. certain cats remind me of you. certain sports remind me of you. certain hair color reminds me of you. i cant escape. i’m ready to let go but my heart isn’t.

i told you i couldnt suffer again. I told you how hurt i was. the amount of conversations we had about how i was broken. you told me you werent like the rest, and that you wouldnt hurt me. but here i am crying in the same spot you promised me you wouldnt leave...

You told me you didn't love me for the first two months of our relationship. Why did you say it at all then.

i loved you. really. i did. i don’t anymore. i moved on. but it still hurts, to read old messages. i find myself crying. i just wish, it never happened. the downfall. maybe then i wouldn’t feel like this.

hey brady. I just wanna talk to you about why you left. I know it was only 7th grade but it still hurt. It's been 4 years since you stopped having feelings for me and for some reason I am still struggling to move on. I miss you. If this is real and I'm not just crazy, I think it might work out in the end. You have so much potential and I know that you aren't yourself when you're with other people. But you always were with me. I hope you're doing well. Love you.

What happened to our future past life? I hope you're doing well. Remeber to stay safe and hydrated :)

stargazing together. slow dancing in your kitchen. late night adventures. making out on your roof at 3 am. i can’t believe this is real. our love is crazy

Where do I begin. FIrst off, we dated for 9 months and never went on one date...that is weird. Next, we were really just best friends. The heartbreak did not really hurt me at all really when it should have. I mean the only thing I was mad about was that you dumped me at church. I mean it was church. Anyways have a nice day redneck.

Hi Brady, I have never liked anyone like you before and I never want to like anyone else that doesn’t shower with their hockey stick before a tournament or game or whatever you are an amazing person even when it doesn’t seem like it. You make my life so much better but sometimes I wish I never met you because I always think about you all the time

Never give up. I need you here. Thank you for showing me what real love looks like. I won't give up on you..

my feelings for you chased me before i finally accepted them. I wish your situation as better and I could help you.

I don’t think you’ll ever know how hard I was falling for you, how badly I wanted it to be us, but in the end I guess it wasn’t me you wanted. Days I wished I could go back and change your mind. I still wish you had looked at me the day you said goodbye, tears shed down my face, you wouldn’t look at me. I think that’s what hurt the most, seeing you not have emotions when all I wanted was to know you still cared, but you didn’t. I guess it’s time for me to put this all in the past. I miss you entirely, but it’s been long enough, and it’s time for me to let you go. Much love c

you were my first love and forever will be, you pulled me out of the darkest times and i love you for that.

you saved my life and i can’t thank you enough. i know i wasn’t your first but i hope to be your last. i love you

we should have fought to keep what we had. but we didnt. u taught me so many things. ill always have nothing but love for u. hope all is well

you were my person. you still are my person. I don't think ill ever be able to get over that. right person, wrong time. some part of me will always love you. goodbye for now.

I’m sorry for being a stubborn bitch to you at the beach. I didn’t mean to I was just in a bad mental state. You truly are the best person I’ve ever met. Thanks for carrying me into your house when I was unconscious?

I know you never would have liked me but I always had that feeling that you would. I wish I could be with you forever but it’s just not in the stars for us.

your the golden boy. you show
interest and then let it die out. please snap me and make me feel loved.

i know i've hurt you a lot, but you've hurt me too. i'm sorry for dragging it out longer than it had to be.

I feel you slipping away... don't give up on me yet please I know I can be super awkward and don't always know what to say. im just scared

I know messed everything up so many times. But I can’t live without you ok. I love you please come back

You hated him for hurting me yet you went and hurt me even more and acted like I never existed. You lied to me about everything and only ever cared about yourself. You told me I was the reason for your anxiety but we both know that it wasnt me. You should of told me I'd of understood if you wernt straight but you used me and acted like I was crazy and evil.

I was drawn to you from the start. I’m not sure if you and I will ever get our chance but I wish more than anything we will. Thank you for bringing me healing and peace.

I miss you so much. I need you backI just want to kiss you and hold you. I want to hear youre deep voice again. I will always love you no matter what happens. Please come back babe, we can figure this out.

i was head over heels for you during our first semester of college... everyone knew it except for you. though i've moved on, sometimes i wonder what it'd be like if i ever told you. i guess it doesn't matter now.

you left. after all the promises that you would never hurt me and it would be us in the end. you still left. you’ve hurt me more than anyone ever has and yet i would do anything to get us back.

you left. after all the promises that you would never hurt me and it would be us in the end. you still left. you’ve hurt me more than anyone ever has and yet i would do anything to get us back.

I can't breathe without you... its going to be 2 years without you, this December and all i want is you to hold me...

idk if you know this but it has always been you. ever since we were 3 it has always been you. I still love you, and ik you want her back and I'm trying to help as much as I can but its killing, im in love with you, sorry.

you hurt me so bad and you'll never even know it. i pretended everything was fine when we hung out before you left. you caused so much damage from that one little kiss and now i'll spend every day waiting for you. because i know its you and it'll always be you. love you always. even if you don't know it.

wish we weren’t so stubborn . i love you with my entire heart . i’m sorry for not expressing it soon enough .

Hey I think I'm getting over you. I don't really know though because I don't really think about you yet at the same time you are in the back of my mind. When ever i'm on social media I feel the need to look at your profile but I don't feel like I need to at the same time. It is weird but I think I'm slowly getting over you. We never dated nor did you even like me back(well I assume you never did which is probably true) but I really did like you a lot and for 3 years. 3 YEARS I liked you waited for you and did everything I could just to see you another second and get your attention but you never batted an eye which hurt. But when these other girls come in and obviously don't care about you, you need to all of a sudden give them all you time and even ask me questions about them. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Liking you, loving you, it hurt a lot. Did I love you, yes I did, was I ever in love, no. This is going to take a while to get over you. I mean I haven't seen you in almost 8 months but I still somehow couldn't get over you. You know what after writing this maybe I am not over you but i'll get there one day. I know it. Good bye Brady.

I love you more than I love myself, you saved my life. but you don't appreciate me or love me back. I need you to need me back because I can't let you go...

im too scared that im going to fall in love with the idea of you vs your true self. i genuinely like you but im too scared that youre gonna leave the moment that im purely happy with you

i’m in love you and we have only been talking for a little bit. but i just wanted to let you know ily

you gave me a feeling i've never felt before. but fuck you for leaving me. i still love u tho . and u know why this is red

you broke me into pieces when you left. it’s been 2 years and I still think about you like crazy. but i have learned how to forget about you when needed. I sometimes wish that I never met you so I am not the way I am today.

idk what to think. we’re not even close anymore but a year ago i was head over heels for u. u broke my heart and i still believed in us for months after. i wish we were still close. but ik while ur a chapter in my book, i’m a few measly sentences in urs. i made the mistake of rereading old messages the other day. did u still like me even after?? cause it seemed like u did. idk. also i’m being vague in case u find this but i promised u i would always be there for u and i still am if u ever need anything. i miss u. somewhere in my heart i can’t let u go and i have no fucking clue y. you broke me. feelings for u have come and gone and they’ll never be as strong as they once were but they’re still there ig?? idk i j wish i could go back. back to when u told me u loved me and everything was okay even if we were never together. maybe i need closure. or maybe ur dumbass is manifesting me. either way ur still in my heart. idk y i cant let u go. ur the only person i can see myself being happy with. so bye ig. btw if u find this and think it’s me pls don’t text me unless u feel the same way or wanna give my dumbass some fucking closure for y u still talked to me after it happened like u cared and then out of nowhere j stopped caring all together. maybe it’s cause u wanted to not lead me on but brady, somewhere i still think something with us can happen. and idk y.

i would give anything for you to feel the same way, but im just going to have to be happy w/ "just friends"

saying no again is the hardest thing i could do. i want to be with you forever but it could never be that way

what makes me so angry is the fact we were never together. you talked to me about being in a relationship with you and then out of nowhere, you told me you weren't ready. you want to be friends but I don't know how I'm supposed to look at your face every day without wanting to cry. I didn't want to love you. I don't get attached to people easily and I did with you. I hate myself for it. we have the same friends so I still see you almost every day. I hate that I can't hate you. I hate that you don't care.

I don't know how to tell u that I like you. you know I do. your friends know I do. I just wanna be with you :/