Unsent messages to BENZ

I love you so much, i’m sorry i do. I’d like to imagine that in another life you love me too.

I think I'm falling in love with you but you said that you are good with what we have...

i hope you're well aware on how much you broke and changed me after you left.

you’re perfect and I’m not so i get it.

From the beginning, I knew that we should have never started anything we knew wouldn't have an ending, happy or sad. We were young and dumb, both looking for company, looking for someone to tell stories to. Knowing myself and how I am, I knew one way or another, I would create these endless scenarios in my imagination, self-doubting everything that is happening. However, I think that we both left things unsaid and never got the closure we should have gotten. Here is my side, I loved you, however, I can't give enough for you and myself when, still, I am learning to love me. It's been a long life struggle trying to please everyone but myself and trying to make sure everyone is okay. I did love you, I don't know if it was as a friend or someone that I thought would stick by me for the long run. But thank you for the late nights, the phone calls, the memories, the times where you sang to me when I was at one of my lowest. Thank you for giving me the attention that I never thought I wanted, the attention that made me finally think of myself than others. All my life, I felt like I was never heard, even though people kept saying to speak out so that your voice is heard, even though that happens I feel like I'm never heard. But love, thank you for giving me butterflies, and making me feel one of the luckiest girl for having a moment like that with you. I hope that whoever gets a chance like that with you, will make you the happiest person alive. I love you.

Love,
Ella