I'm here for you how ever you need me to be. I'm not giving up on anything but don't mistake it as me killing myself waiting for you. I don't expect to be a priority and I don't want to be one either. If it was too much for me or something I'm not prepared for, I would've stopped trying a long time ago. What I want is for you to do whatever you need for yourself. I've told you I don't need anything from you and I mean it. I'm okay with the distance.

I thought I was doing what you wanted. I tried giving you the distance you needed while staying true to myself and protecting my feelings if you decided to call thing off again and you did. I don't know how to help you either and you telling me that you wish I could make you feel better too didn't help. I exhausted every option I had, even settling for an open relationship, to keep you in my life because I like you too much to the point where I don't want to lose you romantically even if you weren't all mine. I thought those actions showed I cared.

I wish I didn't fall asleep if it meant that I could've been there for you when you needed me to be. Unless you were already on you way to end this. Then I guess there's nothing I could've done. I knew we weren't made to last as long as I wanted us to but that's okay. I'm just glad we had each other for the time we shared even if it was short. Hopefully we can try again one day. If you don't mind, I'm gonna keep messaging you on here. I'm not sure if I hope for a response or for you to see it or not.

You were the only person I like and attracted to during all our time together. I never had anything with anyone else and you were never a just body or filler to me. If I'm going to be honest, the distance I put between us and speed I "detached" myself was more so you didn't have to see me differently, like a little pet waiting and vying for your attention. I don't want to stop trying but I don't want to overstep. I've had feelings for you since we met. I still feel like they're going to linger. I'm such a fool for all of this and I was prideful. I'm sorry.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have as much as other people have to offer. I'm sorry I'm not a real boy/girl.

I think I'm falling for you more and more each day. Maybe more than you are for me but I think that's okay too. I get elated thinking about how you and I get to do things we've never done and reach milestones we never have together. I promise that I won't treat you like you have been in the past and instead I will give you the love, care, and respect you deserve. I promise to buy you lilacs, and toys for your kitten and dog, and go on picnics with you for as long as you allow me to and I'll get a mullet too. Your eyes look like honey in the sunlight. I love that about you and that's why I love eye contact with you. I hope to make you as happy as I can for as long as I can.

You're really pretty and amazing and beautiful and I really appreciate how when I'm around you, I'm comfortable in my own body too. You encourage me to explore myself and to try new things to see what fits and what I identify most with and that's never happened before.