Unsent messages to ANT

you were and still are my first love. before you, i dated boys who i thought i loved. but when i met you, god i was wrong. two years with you, so many ups and downs. no matter how painful and toxic it gets sometimes, im still here and i still love you so much. ive never stopped loving you. ever. the way i catch you looking at me, the way you smile at me, the way you laugh at me when i do something stupid, your hands, your hair, your smile, your scent, your legs, your arms, your back. just everything about you is perfect to me. the way youll roll over in the mornings and hug me, both of us still half asleep but still so much energy between us. one of the cutest things you do is when im with your mum or dad, and they ask me about personal things that ive only told you. things that i didnt think you would pay attention to, you've told them. it makes me so happy, because i know that youre talking about me to them. although i have my suspicions about some things... i still trust you with my live. i hope we last forever, i want to marry you. i want to have your kids and build a family with you. you're such a family orientated person and amazing with kids, imagine you with our baby. i want to be by your side when you build your career, and you by my side whilst i build mine. whilst we build a home together. i cant wait to grow more and more with you. i love you, always.

I don’t think you remember how much you hurt me. I still hope you learn to love someone the way that I loved you.

i still dont understand why you did all of those stuff to me and no matter how hard i try i cant forgive you but i love you w everything thankyou for trying it means alot i hope its true when you say im the only one, lets see if this lasts dont mess up your last chance pls i love you more than anything ill see you soon i love you more b

i meant it when i said i love you. i'll be waiting for you if you ever wanna come back. i'll never find anybody that makes me feel the way you once did.

hey i miss you. even after all the times youve hurt me, i look for you in every body i meet. i cant move on from you. i try to, but i'll never get over you. i hope we can meet again someday and have a life together.

Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t you just love me like you used to? Why am
I never enough?

After all that we've been through together, all I have left is a clipping of you from the local newspaper