hey amy, you'll definitely never see this since this will get lost within the depths of everyone elses sadness, but i think ill just do it anyway. maybe it'll bring closure. dude i miss you so much you wouldn't believe. not your two friends, the toxic one who stopped our friendship and not the other one because shes kind of irrelevent, even though i know she'll be doing great things, with athletics and academically, but i really miss you. all throughout lockdown we could go out together and everything was perfect. we stopped talking over the DUMBEST fucking thing. and i hold grudges and i know you do too. you're worth a lot more than to be friends with that toxic girl. but you're too naive to see that right now. i think it was a right people wrong time kind of thing. i dont think you trusted me the way i trusted you but amy holy shit i really miss being your friend. i think we stopped speaking in July. its january now and i still feel the same way as i did when i was crying because i knew things would never be the same again. but heres some new things that have happened since our friendship came to an end: my sister was born. i was really hoping you'd meet her but not anymore. i went through really fucking traumatic shit and i needed you the most but you weren't there. you could have calmed me or helped me but you werent there and it made everything a lot worse. i unblocked u on insta, sorry for doing it in the first place.

hey soup, ik you wont see this but i need to say it. we have an amazing friendship and got fake married as a joke but i might be falling for you, ik its stupid bc you see me as just ur annoying friend. but idk why or when but i found myself making playlists for you, thinking of you and just overall "crushing" on you. and idk if i like you or if i just think that bc you care abt me so my brain went wack. and i saw you say you have hoes and talking about a girl and i know its not me. please stay safe and don't mention this if you happen to read it

Hey Amy, if ur reading this then its me Mayson ur favorite friend? just wanted to say hi and cant wait to make fun of u and see in class.Yay!!

I'm still left questioning why you left.
We were great, we had our future planned out. You just gave up.

It kills me that I felt something for someone new. It only ever should have been you. I miss you. I love you.

you once looked into my eyes as if I was your future. but now you avoid eye contact as you think of the past

hiya whore.
you are so strong, i will be by your side the whole of this journey. remember i love you. Xxx

Black is her favorite color ... her voice makes me happy, her look of love, her kiss drives me crazy, her touch is surreal ...
I keep listening to Electric ... I know that someday it will be just the two of us; It's been hard to stay away from you ... I've lost weight, I don't sleep and I haven't eaten for days. I want you to be happy and I know that I will meet you again (next year, probably), and I will have you again ...
Never forget that I love you with all my strength!

Att, #Amy

I get lost in your eyes, oh how I wish I could tell u I love more than a friend, I never will, you’re beautiful

Despite you being the best looking girl I’ve ever met, I didn’t like you until we had laughed together and I realised you were the funniest, wittiest and smartest girl I’ll ever meet. That’s what made me want to be with you.

I like you a lot, i dont want a relationship, which is lucky coz i know you dont either. Could we at least be something small?

i know you don't know this, but it'll always be you. you'll always come first, but I don't want to ruin our friendship

your art is so good and you make me smile !! thanks for being my buddy in science i hope we are friends forever !

hey best friend. i don't think you wil ever read this but i just want to let you know that your the best thing that ever happen to me i love you.

there's so much beauty in every part of you. please don't be afraid of it. I love you and would give anything to lay in your arms again

Yellow was our color but lavendar makes me think of u. I've started wearing it more and seeing it more. it symbolizes calmness, a feeling that took on a whole new meaning when we talked. I was ur yellow but u were my lavendar

you litterally ruined my life. from stabbing me in the back and telling everyone everything i had ever said to u getting all my friends to disslike me and so many more things. i hate u i phsically hate u. yet ur so fucking perfect, everything always going ur way

you’re the first girl i’ve been with and i was the first girl you were with.... you won’t leave my brain

i love you and i wish you the best but this is some much needed time apart. i hope you’re doing well and i’m genuinely so sorry for everything

I never thought I could love again, until you. The distance is hard, but someday we’ll get the beautiful house with our little zoo. I promise.

you’re turning 16 soon. i’m proud of you. i know that you didn’t think you’d make it to see your 16th birthday. but here you are.

please don’t tell me you don’t love me anymore,i am trying to stay sober for you so we can be together again so you can love me

i miss the way you made me laugh and smile. i miss your curly black hair and bright green eyes and your pale skin. i miss how we would stay up talking for HOURS about random stuff, from music to our favorite types of history. i miss what we had. take care of yourself.

you're literally the coolest, nicest, BEST person i've ever met and i'm so lucky to have you in my life. you've always been there for me, you were my light in the dark. thanks.

I'll be honest. I really don't know how it feels to be in love. But I stg I hope that it is love. You have made me feel more alive and understood then ever

I’ve been wanting to put something on here for a while. But as much as I could write about you whilst we were in love, I struggle to find words with you gone.

hey i fucking love you and i hope one day you can eat all the calories in the world and love yourself too

hey jandice! it's the end of 2020 we got a lot closer this year which is fun. i really wanna go to mto rn. love you xoxo

i’ve written one of these before for you. i just hope you see this but i don’t want you to at the same time. i’m sorry for the pain i’ve caused you or the tears that leave you’re eyes because i’m unable to tell what my own emotions are. i’m sorry. i wish i loved you the same way you love me but my heart can’t make up it’s mind. we’re drifting and it’s my fault. but don’t leave me yet. you can’t die on me. even if my feelings are platonic. love of any kind is special. white like yours to me

hello love :) i doubt you'll ever see this, and if you do you probably won't even think it's about you. but i love you, and i mean it when i say it. the distance is hard, i know we both need a good cuddle. but thank you for making my life better and despite the distance making me way less lonely.

i hate the fact that i ever met you. i hate that i gave you all my firsts, my first 3am call my first favorite movie and everything else. but at the same time i wouldn’t have want to have them with anyone else. i loved the time we spent together and held it too close to my heart. i hate myself for taking it too far and falling for someone i know could never feel the same way. i hate myself for not cutting it off when i know i should have. i hate myself for being a toxic piece of shit who can’t let go. but i wouldn’t want anyone else in my life. i hate myself for caring so much but i can’t help it. i spent a lot of time with you, maybe too much. i don’t regret a single second. there’s no one else i can imagine that would be in my life the way you are. but i can’t tell if meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me or the thing i regret most. i don’t think i’ll every fully get over it. i think you’re still the person who means the most to me. I think i loved you, i think i still love you, and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to stop loving you. and i hope that you can be happy with or without me.

i wish you could look inside of my brain and realise how much i actually care, but i don't think and i ruined us but i love you and i wish i could stop messing up too but please remember that i am here okay.

You didn’t have to ghost me. If you’d told me you didn’t want to speak to me anymore, at least I’d know where I stand. You’re a coward. Get off your high horse, and start analysing your own behaviour rather than criticising me for things that really aren’t any of your business.

hello jandice! we keep messing up our colors and it's stressing you out, i'm still hungry. love you baybuh. xoxo

If u see this love i am scared. Im terrified right now. I need u. Im by myself in this. please call me. please

You were my first love and I was your first love. I’m sorry for treating you like I did, you deserved better. I will always miss Glasgow and always miss you.

Fuck you. Fuck you for lying. Fuck you for always hurting good people because you don't know what you want. Fuck you for using me

You lost something amazing. You lost yourself because ur so concerned with what other people think. I miss you but I think I miss a you that doesn't exist anymore. Maybe it never did

i miss you. you were my best friend. i hope we can study together on your bedroom floor again one day. thank-you for cutting my hair and always making me laugh. miss you alot

i thought i was over you but I feel like I'm not. we kissed the other day and I feel bad for how I acted. i just crave your attention and it feels like you just want anyone else. i hate myself for feeling like this but I can't help it. i was planning on coming out to u the other day but I'm still confused and can't even accept it myself.

you are all i think about and i know we would be together if there weren’t so many barriers. you are one of the most amazing human beings i’ve ever met and i know we can never be together again but please just know i am so grateful to have had you as long as i did. i’m sorry for what we put eachother through. you were and always will be my soulmate. i hope you find someone who loves you even half as much as i did. i’m sorry amy.
r

i dont want ur man even tho he wanted me before u please stop trying to make me jealous because im rly not u just look like a twat xxx

I am so unbelievably obsessed with you. You're all I can think about night and day. I crave being with you, even just to look at you is so beautiful to me. You're all I want.

dear amy,
if only you knew how much i truly liked you. you sat there one day in my biology class, next to me. little did i know how much i would grow to like you. i began to love your smile and pe lessons were the best. we messed around together, dancing in the back. i just wish we could work it out together and become something more.
but...

merry christmas baby. i know we don’t talk but i love u and miss u and this time of year reminds me of when u came here. i wish i could message u this directly but hope u have a nice christmas and u get spoiled. i love you amy, always

"What colour did you choose for Amy?"
"Dark blue I think, for her prom dress"
"I was going to say light blue, for her eyes"
*short silence*
"Look at us being all poetic and shit"

i know you don’t owe me anything, but can you call me on my birthday still like you promised? i still need that. pls

i hate the way you copy me,i dont know why you do it but i bothers me. you always point out how people look at you and not me and if someone looks at me you try to get their attention. I dont know why you do this but it makes me feel bad. you make me feel ugly and awfull about myself but yet you copy my style, the way i talk and act, the people i fell in love with, everything i do you copy and it feels like u try to out do me. no wonder he chose you over me, no wonder you get stares from people looking at me. i know you will never see this but part of me whats you to. i dont want to ruin our friendship cuz i know u r going through alot and i wont tell you this cuz i dont want you to hurt like i am, i hate it all and some happiness i get or feel gets taken by you. i dont know why you do some of it. maybe your jealous of me? i just want to be my own person and i cant because everything i do, you do or copy. i dont know how to tell you that im struggling with my sexuality bcuz i know you wont let it go and you will copy it after i come out. I want you support and you give it to me alot but idk about this. i love you and i always have,(as friends) but idk anymore. i jut want to feel pretty again and want you to be happy ofc. im scared sometimes because you remind me of my mom every once in a while. i dont want you to hurt and i dont want you to feel any more pain. love you

hi, I really like you and it’s just been so infatuating I can’t control it, I love your sweet smile and you have the prettiest face, you make me laugh a lot and your personality is just

Hi love,
We've been through so much, thank you for staying. I love you