Unsent Messages

I was young when I fell in love with you. Young and stupid and naive. The beginning was good, it was practically out of a movie. I don’t know when things changed for you. When you decided to break me and take something from me. You embedded a fear in me that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to shake. You cut me off from friends, from family, and from myself. You made me loose myself and I don’t remember the girl I was before you. I’m cold now. When I’m kissed on the forehead by someone who cares for me, I cringe. Not because I don’t love them, but because you made accepting touch as a love language nearly impossible. You’ve cause me indescribable pain, physically and emotionally. You’ve caused me to inflict that pain on myself for years. Then, despite the pain and the fear, I left. And while the pain remains, I’ve never felt more free. I can hug men and not want to cry. I can look people in the eyes again. I can stand up for myself. I’m finding myself again. You utter shattered me, into too many pieces to count. But I’m picking them up, and I’m putting myself back together. I hope you learn to treat people better. You don’t deserve love until you do.