Unsent Messages

I think I have become blind to your faults. everyone else can see them, yet when they are pointed out to me I see nothing. only the things that make you more yourself. it pains me because I wish I could see you as everyone else does. I wish that to me you were just as average as you are to everyone else, because maybe then it would be easier to let you go. this has never been easy for me, loving you. it’s my achilles heel so to speak. I feel as if I am going insane day by day. the worst is when I see you with her. you ignore all of her very very many faults, as I do yours. I see you look at her with the same gleaming eyes I see look at me. I wish this feeling would just go away, but I fear it may never go away. after all it’s been 5 years of knowing you. yes the feelings I had have faded, and turned to hatred even at times; yet they have never fully vanished. my only hope is that some day they do.