what the fuck. i hate that im back here. but my head is just overflowing with questions. i know you'll never see this, but for some reason i still hope that you'll come back and at least explain to me why you left. why you lied to me. i really thought you loved me. you're the reason i have trust issues. you're the reason i hate myself and why i wonder why I'm never good enough. because of you I'm hurting others. but i don't hate you. i could never. and i hate that I'm even writing this. i want to say you're a piece of shit but you're not. but until i get an explanation, you're a piece of shit, river. i loved you. and i hate that i told you i did and i hate that i let myself get hurt by you.