Unsent Messages

i don’t cry as much. haha. i always say that but end up crying multiple times a day. they say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. nah, fuck that. i wish maybe i didn’t love at all. because i wouldn’t be hurt. and you wouldn’t have hurt either. i love you. god i need to shut the fuck up. i have egar. and everyone else. but i only sleep with egar. FUCK. i wanted to buy you shit for christmas. i also wanted to go into 2021 with you. and spend a 3rd Valentine’s day with you. oh no, what if you spend it with someone else. i hate it here. i need to stop talking, no, typing haha. i really, really wish i still had you. but the timing man. it was WAY off. now, we could’ve been unstoppable. i can give you everything now. but, you’re planning on asking her out. so, treat her well. give her stuffed animals and lots of hugs. i hope she does the same for you. i will always love you. and i’ll wait. but not wait. ya know? you’ll always have a place in my heart to come back to. god i need to just stop haha. i’m trying. i’m really fucking trying man. i’ve tried liking someone else, i tried exploring my options. but nothing works. Lover is a day. that’s still ours, right?