Unsent Messages

why wasn't i enough dude? like i really believed u loved me. for so long i thought u felt something. everything that happened, how could u not feel one ounce of love for me. am i just that unlovable? was i just never enough? was i not good enough? was i too much of a drama magnet? why? why did u never love me? i loved u with everything i had. in fact i still love u and for some reason i can't let go of that love i felt so strongly. my heart just won't let me. maybe i still have hope that you're lying. i still have hope that u did love me and everything u said after our relationship was a lie. but i'm not that stupid. i wish i could give up on this hope. i wish i could delete every memory i have of u. i wish i could give up on u. but i can't. that isn't me. i don't know how u did it. how did u give up so easily? i hate that i'd go back to u in a heartbeat if u came back. i hate that u could do anything and hurt me so much and i'd still want u. i just don't know how to escape u.