Unsent Messages

im glad I texted you the other night, but I wanted to say it out loud, perferably in person were you could see how what I was telling you was the truth , so you could hear how seriously I meant what I had to tell you. I knew you were going to say no, but I dont know why. I can guess but Im not sure its because you hate me anymore. so why is it? I've been worried today I realized it was because I was worried I had said too much and upset you, or overstepped the boundaries of what was appropriate for me to say. and because I chose now to talk does that mean that it is now over for good? I dont want that if im just being honest. but I am trying so hard to be right by you whatever that means this time. so even regardless of whatever I feel im only trying to show my love through the support of yours to her. I love you, I want you to be happy, it feels selfish of me to say that and still wish it was me though. It probably is. im working on it.