Unsent Messages

wow alex you are something else i remember so much like when you told me you took xans and acid and this was before you took more shit but i knew you were lonely but i couldn't do anything because i ment nothing to you yes we talked a lot and i was best friends with your sister but stuff happens i just feel so alone i sound pathetic but it's true and i did what i did so the pain would go away all the shit that i did. all the crying nights turned into drinking and other shit i'd rather not share but i loved you so much but you made me hate myself so much more than i already did and it was unexplainable the pain i went through those 7 months. i saw you with so many girls but now you're manic and can't fidn yourself and i wish i could help you but i can't find myself either i lost myself 3 months ago and its all a blur. i'm sorry the pain you went through those 2 weeks but you can't be making everything public you'll realize you fucked up. but i'm here if you ever need to vent to me. i remember the night i fell out of love i did your eyeliner that day but i also was texting phoenix he means so much to me too because he knows what i go through and you don't know anything about me. i love him so much and i know you don't care because you don't like me and i don't understand why you hated that i barely talked like im sorry that im scared i dont live up to peoples expectations goodbye