Unsent Messages

When you left me you broke me and for about a month I missed you more than anything, I just wished you knew how much I cried over you and how I turned myself inside out for you. I'm sorry for what I did, it wasn't my place and I said things I shouldn't have and my only justification was that I was hurt and now I understand that it wasn't enough. But that Friday night when you called me broke my heart all over again, hearing your voice like that and in the tone, it just made me completely realise how you don't care about me and my feelings at all anymore. but it also made me realise how much I need to move in because there was no chance we would happen again. so from the bottom of my heart thank you, over this month I realised how much bullshit I put up with from you, I realised that I lost someone who wasn't putting in the same amount effort he used to because they changed from one of the sweetest boys I knew to a dickhead. you switched up completely, you stopped facetiming me at all, you stopped making an effort with conversation, and you started doing weed regularly, you started wanting to do more and more 'stuff'. and that's not the boy I fell in love with. when you ended it, I realised that I was more in love with the idea of you and the old you than who you became.

but now I'm happy again without you and if anything happier than I was in the relationship because I've realised my own worth. I took my friends advice and focused on myself and my friends, I took one day at a time. granted sometimes I'll catch myself looking over at you remembering what we had, but unlike a month ago I don't look at you and wish we were still together. I've stopped caring about your opinion of me, I've stopped thinking about what you're doing and if you're alright at night. because I'm over you, which is great to say. I know that I will have lows where I'll miss you but I'll get through it like I have with anything I've gone through.

so thank you. thank you for a great 4 months, I really did enjoy them. I will always care for you and love you but like a friend and not like how I used to. I wish you the best and I can't wait until we're friends like we once were again.