Unsent Messages

I have loved you since the second I met you. I literally thought I was in love with you for two whole years. I used to think about you all the time. When I was trying to sleep, in class, with my friends, in the shower, at basketball, in the car. At every given time of every given day, you were on my mind. I miss you more than I will ever be able to verbalize. You are the one that I always fall back to. You are the one that my mind always wonders to. You are literally the one that my heart beats for. I was so consumingly in love with you. You literally took up 90% of my life. You were the one that I wanted to spend my entire life with. I wanted to marry you and grow old with you. I wanted to be able to kiss you and hug you and not have to worry about what anyone thought because we were happy. Happy is a word that I associate with you. You made me so happy. I don't think that I could see us being happy together though. As much as I hate to admit it, we would have never worked out. Jesus, that's still hard for me to even say right now. It's hard for me to even wrap my head around the fact that we won't ever be together. I guess part of me is still holding onto a shred of hope that we might. That one day we might run into each other at the store and the stars might align. And then we would run away together happy. But nothing lasts forever and happiness isn't real. I miss you; so much that my heart aches. I love you and I hope you're well.