From: ABC
To: me
Date: December 22, 2020, 11:37 pm
youve got this. you can get through this theres so many people who love you in this world. yes, looking in the mirror makes you feel sick when you see your body but theres someone out there who finds it beautiful, someone who finds you beautiful. you are beautiful you just cant see it. your acne is beautiful, so is you cellulite, so is your body. whether you meet societies 'perfect' body or not your beautiful. your body stays with you for your whole life. dont ruin her, shes the only one your going to get. i wish i could go back to when things were much simpler. no flat shaming. no being called a door. not people staring at my acne. i wish i could go back to being 4/5 being mummys little princess pleasing everyone and looking beautiful without an insecure in the world. i was just myself. but society has changed. im still so young but i feel pressurised by society to do things/ have a better body. im expected to have a perfect bum, tiny legs, big but not saggy boobs, little thighs, clear skin and be the perfect hour glass. and in reality im none of them. and it makes me feel worthless and like no ones ever going to love me. i know theres people out there that love me but i dont love myself. i look in the mirror and want to cry. my bestfriends boyfriend calls me "the door one" or "flat" or "mank" and as much as i love her she does nothing. it just makes me think that when im not on facetime or messaging her that when they call me them names that does she agree with them? does she call me an ugly door? ive always been known as the ugly friend and ive had enough. i do somehwhat love myself but i have my many flaws like everyone else. i shout at people when i dont mean too when theyve done nothing wrong. then my friends tell me that im horrible to people when i cant help it. i dont know if theres something wrong with me but i seem to be rude and horrid 24/7 amd i think not just people at school but all of my family memeber are starting to see it too. and im scared that im going to be known as the horrible girl and be left with no friends.
