Unsent Messages

i know i promised to stay alive but its getting so hard. right now the only person i can talk to is rachel and she dosent even help most of the time. Mom just told me i have to have all of my missing work done or i cant go to tennesee and i leave the day after tomorrow and i have 95 assignments i need to do. i just want to give up. you say that we're going to find each other again but i live 2,000 miles away from you and we cant talk. i wanted to wait for you and hold on in the small chance that we would meet again but i dont think i'll be able to much longer. If i do give up i know you don't read these messages anyways so i just wont tell you before. ill tell rachel not to tell you when i write a note and it wont matter because we don't talk anymore so you'll never go through that . I'll hold on for as long as i cant take it