Unsent Messages

I'm sitting here right now listening to the playlist I made that reminds me of you my love and I didn't realize how much it made me want to tell you how I feel about you. I could. But I know that in one way or another I'm going to hurt. I will also put you in an awkward position as you really like someone else and are practically together now. I just need to let it go. I know you won't see this but I'm okay with that.

I miss the silly note exchanges in class, the flirty remarks, the teasing as if we didn't like each other.
I miss the conversations we had, knowing it could possibly lead to more.
I miss the way you looked at me.
I miss you calling me squish.
I miss that side of you.

I might sound stupid as this was back a while ago and we never even got together. If I'm honest I shouldn't even be writing this and should just get over myself. I should be over that stage as you have. But the truth is...I don't know how.

I sometimes wonder if those feelings flow back every now and again but then I have to bring myself back to the present day and realise that you will never feel that way about me again.
You won't exchange those silly notes. You won't talk to me like it will lead to more. You won't call me squish. You won't look at me in that way. I will never get that side again and that fucking hurts.

I wish I did something, anything to show you how much I liked you. I think you knew but it wasn't enough to keep you here.

Now I'm just your friend.
I hope this girl realises how special you are. Sure you have your flaws but so does everyone. I hope this girl gives you what I can't. I hope she makes you happy and by the looks of it, she seems like she does.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Dying inside lmao but happy.

Damn, I'm cringy and emotional aha. But I needed to get this out somehow.
Maybe now I can start to get over it.

Thank you for making me laugh
Smile.
Awkward.
Cry.
Thank you, Loser.
I love you.
From Midget.