Unsent Messages

i love you, i really do and you know its hard not being with you right now and its terrifying not knowing whether we will even end up back together or if youll lose feelings. i know you say you still love me and once everything is better for you you wanna try again but theres this part of me that doesnt feel like something good like that would happen for me. you were the first guy in my life to treat me right and even though we were long distance you made me feel like i had a place in this world, you cared for me, you listened to my rants and tried your best with comforting me when i was crying and upset, you always wanted to the best for me, and you never ever made the relationship revolve around the topic of sex which you dont know how special it felt for me. I had never been in a "real" relationship and every guy that came into my life was always extremely toxic and you weren't you were my definition of the perfect guy; someone who had everything the looks, smarts, athletic, personality, and even though both of us had issues and not exactly perfect lives it somehow still felt like we were meant for each other. I still remember the night you asked me out, i remember it in such detail and i just hope that we do end up together again because i know this might sound crazy or stupid but that whole talk we had on a indepth future together with jobs and having kids and what kind of parents we would be and what their names would be on that one night on facetime i want it to actually happen. and if we dont get back together youll always have a small part of my heart, fuck i fell in love with you.