Unsent Messages

if only we would be closer in person, the lovely things we could have been still haunt me. whenever i see your name in a math problem a little piece of me cries. did you really love me, or did you just love that beautiful night under the stars together. i want to text you, but i know you’ll never see this. i miss your gorgeous hair and tall, slender, awkward figure, and i wish i could comfort you, because i know that deep inside, you’re so scared of the world and hated life, because i go through the same pain. you probably thought i was immature in the way i would always make jokes, but it’s really just a cover that i also overthink. i also want to die. i also cry at night for no goddamn reason, i wish we could relive that night under the stars, because that was the first time i had ever really truly felt alive in a very long time. thankyou for gifting me with that, and sorry for ruining everything for you. i just wanted you to love me as much as i loved you.