Unsent Messages

why do you shout at me when I haven't done anything wrong. I'm trying to my best to keep myself alive but it hurts a lot when you said that I don't make any effort with anyone in the family and more with my friends and I'm trying my best but when its constant shouting and arguments in the living room it just makes me not want to be in there. yeah, I may speak to my friends more but that's because they understand more they wouldn't shout at me for not saying thank you even though I did or criticise me for what I eat. it's just so stressful because I'm literally trying my best to be happy but I'm just not and you said you don't want to see me like that again but you were the cause of it. I just sat there crying as you shouted at me for like half an hour basically telling me that I don't mean anything to the family and that really fucking hurt because don't you think I know I'm becoming withdrawn and it's for that exact reason the less you know the less I say to you the less reason you have to shout at me. Also please just stop commenting on what I eat its really not helping when no matter what I eat it's not good enough. I just feel like you don't think I'm good enough in general which is why I literally sit in my room and cry every night but that's what you don't see. but I'm fine I guess lol.