It’s literally 12:25pm and you popped into my brain. I was looking back at my life and wondering when I became so emotionally distant when it came to relationships, and then I remembered you (it’s not as bad as it sounds i swear). I remembered telling you I loved you and how everything about you fascinated me, I was one of those cheesy teenagers in love. I got absolutely giddy when I thought about you I quite literally felt like I was under a spell, I mean you wrote me a song for gods sake. Anyways, I think without even realizing it the breakup had left hidden wounds in my mind and heart that I wouldn’t completely notice till many years later, not to sound dramatic or anything. I don’t want this to sound like I’m blaming you for my own emotional attachment issues, I mean I doubt you’d ever read this but ya never know. I guess I just wish I was that girl again. The girl that wasn't afraid to want someone, to let their guard down and be themselves, to love someone. There’s a guy who’s openly admitted his feelings for me, he’s so similar to you it’s kind of weird, but that’s besides the point. He’s like my other half in the sense that I’d feel lost without him. At one point I think I did have feelings towards him too but my heart just kept pulling away the closer we got. I can’t see myself being with him, or anyone for that matter. I can’t see myself being affectionate towards anyone, all I know how to do is reply to the simplest “goodnight (insert my name)” with a “night to you too bruh/fam/bro/pal” like cmon. I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking this all but oh well, the damage has been done now lmao. Anyways, maybe someday I’ll learn again that love can be fun, and that expressing love for others isn’t a sign of weakness, I’ve got plenty of time to work on myself. To close out this anonymous message, I’d just like to thank you, Adam. You truly were an amazing guy and I cherish every memory we made together. Best wishes x