Unsent Messages

You asked to why I decided to block you on everything after summer. I thought that maybe you were going to become more conscious of your actions and be ashamed, but once I heard your friends talking about our "hook up" I found one more reason why to hate you. The thing here is, you weren't the first one to sexually assault me, but you were the one that made me feel sick for months, mentally and physically. I wish you would realize that when you put your d*ck inside me without my consent, after I told you I didn't want to do anything like that, I didn't enjoy it. The only reason why I gave in after all was because you made me feel shitty for not wanting to do anything. Thank Within that short amount of time you managed to take everything from me even though I didn't want you to. You made me hate the idea of letting any male near me. You made me scared over the fact that even though I might say no or give further notice that I don't want to do anything crazy it may not stop it. I hate how you think we "hooked up" when the only one who enjoyed it was you, I was just there numb. I hate you because you were older, and yet you didn't seem to know right from wrong. I hate you with my whole heart. I hate you because your the one who made my nightmare become a living experience.