From: ABC
To: grandad
Date: December 30, 2020, 12:37 am
hi you’re never going to read this and that both fills me with dread and also relief. you would be so ashamed of what i’ve become.
i will never forgive myself for not saying goodbye when i had the chance, im sorry for disappointing you, all i ever wanted to do was make you proud..but now that you’re gone I have nothing left to give.
my life is this empty shell that i don’t care for & i think there will always be a part of me that hates you for dying, you know my fear of being abandoned by my loved ones and whilst i know you would never do this intentionally you left me in the worst way.
anyway i love you, i hate life without you but i have made my peace with the fact this emptiness is my new forever feeling, i won’t ever recover from this loss and my life without you is so meaningless.
i guess what i want to say most is please don’t forget me, you made me into who i am today & i miss you more than anything.
– christy