Unsent Messages

hi, i'm going to let myself go through it for a min. the truth is that when we first met, i felt something that i have never felt before. the min we started talking, i just felt so at peace. it's not the looks that i fell for, it's the way u carried yourself through the morals & values u had going on for yourself that made me fell in love with u. it's crazy to see that just for a second, everything just made sense. ik we were never together but every single time i got a chance to talk to u or even have u around just made me feel worth it. every moment with u was worth it. the fact that i cared so much about u scared me & to be completely honest with u, i often distance myself from u because i didn't know if u felt the same way as me & it was just so hard for me to tell u how i really felt. then there was that day where i knew i completely lost u. from our conversations being shorter to u no longer wanting anything to do with me. yes u said u appreciated me but u no longer valued me and it honestly fucking sucks. i know u said u needed time to figure some things out & for me to give u that space & the time apart, i never failed to check up on u because u were the only one that crossed my mind & i just wanted to be there for u. i hate this. i hate how we just drifted apart. slowing losing someone u really cared about but i want to say i'm sorry for pushing u too hard. i'm sorry for trying to bring out your vulnerable side because u have never dealt with it before. losing u has got to be so hard but i'm ok. things aren't going to change or go back to the way it was anymore, as much as it breaks me.. a part of me would always love u for the right & wrong reasons. as much as i don't say it, i appreciate every single piece of effort u put into me and it never went unnoticed. it's hard to lose somebody u love but i cannot keep losing myself trying to understand what was already in front of me. i wish u nothing but the best & to the next girl who walks into your life, i hope she understands u & loves u as much as i did because i lost that chance to do so & she has it now. pls be gentle with u because your guard continues to stay up and be patient with him. pls take care of him. without further notice, i'm letting this go. i loved u. i truly did.