Ah Gavin Gavin Gavin. I don't even know where to start with this. I don't even know if I would consider you my 'first true love' because, I can't tell if it love because I've never been in love. Or have I? I do love you in a way. A way maybe even stronger than a typical relationship. We weren't close for 3 years and now we are getting in touch again. Feels odd. Just realizing that we were just kids when we first met, being each others first crush, and now only a couple years later, still kids and I'm still not able to notice whether if I like you. Maybe that's my fault. My self sabotage; I always repress my own feelings that I have for people so fast and immediate because I always have the defensive mentality when it comes crushes. Never in my life will I ever fully accept the fact someone will choose me over the popular. Including you. But we're still kids. Still kids.