i miss u. i miss your smile and i miss hearing your laugh and your voice. i miss the way u used to joke with me. i miss when u used to call me your love and your everything. i miss the way u always made sure i ate something that day because u knew how hard it was for me. i miss u telling me about your day and how practice was. why did u leave? what did i do? u told me u loved me more than anything in this world, was that a lie? if u love someone that much, how could u leave them? i still pray for u and your family every night. i pray you're well and happy. i pray we find our way back to each other, because i really think you're the one i'm supposed to be with. i wonder how often u think of me, or if u ever do. sometimes i wonder if u left because your friends told u to, i don't think they ever really liked me. sometimes i wonder if our relationship was a joke to u, and u didn't really think i was beautiful and u didn't really love me, but if it was a joke why would u tell your parents about me? we used to talk about our future together and u told me how it's gonna be hard for u not to cry when u see me walking down the aisle on our wedding day. we planned on having four children, two boys and two girls because u always wanted a brother and your sister always wanted a sister. u would get scared when we would talk about having children because u are terrified of being a terrible father and not being able to be there for your kids. i know i shouldn't, but i still look back at our old conversations. reading through our texts, i remember how i felt in the moment. i remember blushing and smiling like an idiot when u told me u loved me for the first time. i remember the butterflies i felt the first time u called me your baby. i wish i could feel like that again. every night, i look through the pictures i have of u that i can't bring myself to delete. u have the most perfect smile i have ever seen, even though u hate it. i miss looking at your dimples and your cute little nose. i miss everything about u. they say if u love someone u have to let them go and if they really love u, they'll come back. i have a gut feeling that you'll come back to me, but if you don't, i wish u nothing but the best. u deserve endless amounts of love and happiness and if it's not me who gives it to u, i hope u find an amazing girl who will. i want to hate u for breaking my heart, but i can't. i could never hate u. i've loved u since the day we met and i will never stop loving u.