Unsent Messages

I just want you to be happy. Can you please tell me if I’m one of the reasons holding you back from finally being at peace? Actually please don’t I’ll just make an educated guess. I honestly feel like i’ll die apologizing to you. I even do it in my head now sometimes- The reason I’m so hung up on something that everyone seems to be over with now is because I realized I let the worst thing that happened to me once happen to you. So I get why you don’t want to be my friend. I wouldn’t want to be my friend either. I don’t think I want to say goodbye to you, incredibly selfish but yeah. This isn’t a “boohoo cry for me..” btw. I just want to say this bc there’s a possibility of you seeing it and knowing it’s me while not being 100% sure. So much better than the notes app tbh. I know you’ll never forget this- it will stick with you forever like most things do. if there was something better than i’m sorry you’d be hearing a whole lot of that from me. I really do love you and I’m sorry we can’t be like we once were. Cant stand the thought of you hating me